Some Cupid Kills with Arrows, Some with Traps
by Kryzanna
Summary: Itachi Uchiha, though mischievous, is full of good intentions. His methods are slightly questionable; especially where his (mostly) unsuspecting friends are concerned...but who doesn't love a bit of well-meaning trickery when it comes to love? Drama and confusion ensues! Warning: contains yaoi and lemons. HidaDei, ShikaTem, KibaHina, SasuNaru, NejiGaa.
1. Chapter 1

**Greetings and apologies. This was my first fanfiction, inspired by my love of a couple of Shakespeare's plays. It was originally "The Course of Love Never Did Run Smooth" and I was originally '**_Cassidra_**' but due to its discovery by some of my less yaoi-friendly fans, i started a new account. I decided to re-upload this so that I could have all my fics together (but with a fresh new name), so I do apologise if you've already read it! **

**Warning: contains yaoi and lemons in later chapters**

**Disclaimer for the entire story, so i don't have to repeat it: I OWN NOTHING!**

* * *

It was the start of a new college semester at Konoha University. College sophomores Naruto and Kiba were hanging out at the front gates with some of their friends, waiting for the rest of their friend group to join them from their dorms a few minutes' walk from campus. The two best friends were joking around, singing horribly off key about how great the year was going to be; only to be shut up by a vicious punch each from Sakura.

"Would you shut it, you idiots?" she snapped agitatedly, a vein popping in her forehead and the two clowns dancing out of her reach behind Suigetsu, who eyed the pinkette warily, raising his hands to show he wanted no trouble.

"Suigetsu, where are the others?" Naruto groaned impatiently, hopping from one foot to the other.

"I don't know," Suigetsu sniffed, "Who knows where my deadbeat older brother is…trying to be fashionably late probably…" Sakura sighed irritably and checked her watch.

"Well we're _going_ to be late…" she complained, looking over to where Lee was enthusiastically leaping around a far less enthusiastic looking pair of Deidara and Gaara; both of whom were eyeing him with unimpressed expressions, "Lee, quit bothering those two; remember the last time you pissed off Gaara?"

"Oh, Sakura! I am overjoyed that you are so concerned for my wellbeing!" Lee cried, "But never fear! I am simply instilling the vigour of youth in our dear friends!"

"We don't want your vigour of youth, un," Deidara rolled his eyes and flipped his blonde bang from his face; only to have it fall back in exactly the same place. Suddenly, out of nowhere, they heard the low rumble of a powerful car engine. "Oh great, un. Typical; just fucking typical…"

A silver Camaro blasting loud, annoying rap music skidded around the corner and Suigetsu rolled his eyes at his brother's need to make a scene. It pulled up into a park and a tall, broad Junior with slicked back platinum hair got out of the driver's seat, admiring himself in the rear view mirror for a second before getting kicked in the ass by one of the back seat passengers.

"Hidan, Mum's going to kill you if you get another speeding ticket," Suigetsu remarked flatly, completely unimpressed by his elder brother's display.

"Well she can fucking try," Hidan sniffed, shrugging it off and brushing an imaginary piece of dirt off his spotless pride and joy. Deidara's expression instantly soured as he sauntered over, being followed by Shikamaru, Itachi, Sasuke and Kisame, who had been his passengers.

"How you ever manage to have sex in the back of that thing is beyond me," Kisame rolled his shoulders and clicked practically every bone in his spine, "It's tiny." Suigetsu cringed.

"And that, little brother; is why I always call shotgun," Itachi remarked to Sasuke as his favourite little brother's expression soured slightly.

"Hi Itachi!" Naruto whooped, as he and Kiba began dancing about again; then he caught sight of who he had long ago decided was the biggest pain in the ass ever. "…Sasuke…"

"Moron," Sasuke greeted in a tone just as cool, and stalked past him to greet Sakura with a kiss on the cheek.

"You're late," Sakura sniffed crossly.

"Hn," Sasuke responded as she folded her arms and leaned against him to show that she forgave him for keeping her waiting. Naruto's expression darkened. The bastard didn't have to rub it in his face that he'd won the competition for Sakura's heart. Not that there had ever really been a competition; Sakura had been enamoured with Sasuke since they were twelve years old. Now, eight years later, she had him; and they'd been going strong for over a year now. Naruto had had a crush on her for years, but Sasuke still had to go ahead and go out with her after all the years that they'd been kind of friends.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and resisted the urge to facepalm, knowing that even a little display like that on Sasuke's part would result in Naruto needing to challenge him to something later in the day to get him back for it. Inevitably, one of them would lose, giving the other cause to retaliate; and so it would go on all year; just like the last, and the year before that, and for all the years they had known each other.

"Shut up, Hidan; no one's listening to you, un," Deidara snapped irritably, rolling his eyes as the group began walking through campus; Hidan telling Kiba and Gaara in great deal about the latest thing he'd added to his car and the last chick he'd banged and how hot she was.

"No one fucking asked you, blondie," Hidan snorted, and went straight back to his story.

"Don't listen to him, Kiba, un," Deidara snorted, already finding himself growing annoyed with Hidan's presence, "I've seen some of the girls he's gotten with; feral as hell."

"Fucking better than you could ever do," the elder boy growled lowly, pushing Deidara's head away, "Considering you look like a chick anyway." Deidara righted himself, tossing his hair to get it back into position, "Bet you take it up the ass."

"Bet you do," Deidara snorted, "Trying to hide it with the whole macho act, un; fucking any chick that looks at you."

"Say that one more time, blondie; I fucking dare you," Hidan snarled, rounding on him. He towered over Deidara by about a head, but the short blonde just glared up at him defiantly as if challenging him to punch him.

"Hey, hey," Shikamaru sighed, raising a hand from the depths of his pocket and stepping between the two, "No one's taking it up the ass…" The two boys just continued glaring at each other over Shikamaru's head as he looked bored, "Itachi, if you would send them to their respective corners?" Itachi laid a hand on each of their shoulders as the genius turned his back and yawned. Deidara stuck his nose in the air and followed Gaara off into the school. If Itachi had been anything other than an Uchiha, he would've laughed in amusement; but he was, and Uchiha's didn't do laughing. He settled on a smirk as Hidan stalked off ahead.

"Hold on," Kiba suddenly exclaimed, throwing out a hand to stop Naruto dead in his tracks. "_Who _is _that_?" Naruto turned, and even Shikamaru looked back over his slumped shoulders to look in the direction that the mutt was staring.

There was a long-haired brunette male with lavender eyes walking up to the doors of the main reception with a shy-looking, rather busty female with beautiful purple hair and the same lavender eyes.

"Neji's cousin's starting here this year," Shikamaru informed him in a bored tone, "Her name's Hinata and I think she's the same year as us." Kiba was staring, mouth agape.

"I think I just fell in love," he breathed, and then she turned her head and looked in his direction. Their gaze met as she felt eyes on her, and she smiled shyly at him. His eyes lit up. She was beautiful.

He smiled his wonky, toothy smile, trying to not look threatening, and she immediately spun away, covering her mouth with her hands and turning away, her cheeks flushing prettily.

"Oh god, she saw me!" Kiba cried, burying his face in his hands dramatically, "Oh god! This is terrible! Naruto, hide me!" He made a few jerking movements before sprinting off into the nearest building, leaving his friends very confused as to what just happened.

Hinata watched the display from afar; even more confused, and a little embarrassed that that boy had been watching her so intently. He had a kind smile though; she liked that.

"N-Neji, w-what happened to that boy?" she stuttered shyly. Neji looked over in time to see Kiba have a large arguing match with a pull-door that he had tried to push, before looking over at the two Hyugas; yelping; and darting inside as fast as he could.

"Idiots," Neji sniffed, shepherding his cousin inside, "There's no need for you to be associating with vagabonds like him, Hinata." Hinata blinked several times at her cousin's haughty response, but followed him inside.

Kiba was still cowering by the time he reached the floor that his second class was going to be on.

"Oh my god; did that really just happen?" he exclaimed to Naruto, who had sprinted up the stairs to catch up with his best friend, "Did I really just see an angel?"

"Huh?"

"She was so beautiful, Naruto!" Kiba sighed happily, "Just that little smile she did; and the way she blushed; Jesus, do you think she'd ever go out with someone like me?"

"Not a chance, dog-breath," Suigetsu laughed, coming up behind him and jumping at him, ruffling his hair, "That's the Hyuga heir you're talking about; didn't you hear what Shika said?"

"Yeah, she's _totally_ out of your league," Naruto laughed, clapping his now demoralised friend on the back, "No way she'd slum it with a dork like you…"

"Gee, thanks guys," Kiba muttered morosely, "Making me feel really good about the love of my life…"

"You haven't even spoken to her," Suigetsu rolled his eyes, "Come _on_!"

"It doesn't matter," Kiba whined in a voice that sounded akin to a wounded puppy, "I just know she'll be _perfect_."

"Whatever, Kiba, it's the first day," Naruto snorted, trying unsuccessfully to disguise a laugh, "You've got the whole year to fail with her!" Kiba just glared at his two friends that continued poking fun at him until he and Suigetsu headed off to their biology class, leaving Naruto to head for his English class alone.

There was a disturbance in the hallway in front of the History lecture theatre.

"What's going on?" Naruto inquired of Itachi, who was headed for the same lecture theatre as him; taking extra papers at lower levels since he had time and money to kill on a college education.

"Deidara and Hidan are both taking History," Itachi replied simply and Naruto's expression fell. The Deans had tried so very hard to keep Deidara and Hidan out of the same papers. Ever since high school the elder boy had picked on Deidara; with a year of respite when Hidan moved off to college; only to have it start up again when it turned out that they were both at Konoha University.

"Shall we just keep walking?" Itachi suggested as they passed the doorway; catching sight of Hidan and Deidara yelling obscenities at each other and obviously rearing for a fight. Naruto just faced the front and followed the elder boy; Deidara-Hidan fights were things no one really wanted to get in the way of. Usually they were funny; but if Itachi said keep walking, even Naruto kept walking.

As they entered the English lecture theatre, Itachi made his way to a seat next to Shikamaru, a few rows forward from the back.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru sighed, closing his eyes, only to be awakened sharply by a loud cry of "_BASTARD_!" His eyes widened slightly and he looked down at the obvious source of the disturbance; Naruto. The blonde's angry eyes were trained directly onto one Sasuke Uchiha, who was sitting in a seat with a very smug, mocking look on his face; looking very comfortable.

"You're in my seat!" Naruto exclaimed angrily, jabbing a finger at the raven, who just looked coolly down the end of his finger.

"I don't see your name on it, idiot," Sasuke smirked, folding his arms.

"That is _my_ seat," he snarled, "I sat in that very seat in Anatomy first semester last year, and then again English last semester, and I _will_ be sitting in it again this semester!"

"Well you should've gotten here sooner," Sasuke shrugged simply. Naruto was fuming. How dare he? That was _his_ seat, and the bastard damn well knew that! He really wanted to just punch him straight in the face.

"You know I always sit there," he growled.

"I felt like a bit of a change," Sasuke remarked flatly, an eyebrow raising in amusement at Naruto's overreaction to having his seat stolen.

"You hate change," Naruto argued.

"…That changed."

Naruto just let out an explosive noise and stormed off to sit on the other side of the lecture theatre, ears flushing that he couldn't think of any better reason to sit in that seat other than because he wanted to. And if he wanted it, there was no way on earth that Sasuke Uchiha was going to give it up.

Shikamaru sighed heavily, "Troublesome." He leaned and lay his head down on the desk, preparing to go to sleep. Drama was so troublesome.

Itachi was thinking much the opposite; he thrived on the drama. It kept amusement in his often monotonous life, especially when his little brother was involved. There was nothing Itachi Uchiha liked more than making Sasuke uncomfortable. It had gotten a little harder since he had started going out with that Sakura girl; their mother had demanded that he be civil to Sasuke's first proper girlfriend…and Itachi had been forced to obey. If he knew everything about Sasuke's life; their mother knew things that Itachi would rather have quiet. He sat back as their teacher appeared at his desk with a pile of books and a piece of chalk in his hand.

_Shakespeare_ was the word scrawled across the blackboard. Itachi allowed himself a small smile. It was going to be a good year.


	2. Chapter 2

It was lunchtime of the second Monday of semester and the cafeteria was filled with the excited squeals of girls.

Suigetsu cringed as yet another squeal of delight tore through his eardrums and pulled his biology book down over his ears in an attempt to shield them from further pain.

"I can't believe they're so worked up about a dance," he muttered from beneath his book, earning him a hefty hit to the back from Sakura, who was not impressed that he was being such a killjoy.

"It's the back to semester dance!" she exclaimed, flinging her arms around a rather unimpressed looking Sasuke. "It's only the greatest dance of the year aside from the leaver's dance! It's going to be _fantastic_!"

"And guess who's planning it this year?" Temari, Shikamaru's girlfriend inquired with a superior grin.

"Why, the better half of the greatest power couple Konoha University has ever seen!" Sakura squealed, flinging her arms around Temari's neck. Shikamaru rolled his eyes and sighed heavily as he always did when Sakura called him a part of a 'power couple'. Sure, he was top of his class; a year above where he was supposed to be; taking extra papers despite his laziness and a complete genius; and Temari was the alpha queen; popular, hot, highly intelligent and scary enough to command respect; but they were hardly a 'power couple'. Especially since Shikamaru had earned himself the name 'King of the Fairies' from his lecturers since he was always 'away with the fairies' as they so called it.

"This is going to be the best dance ever!" Ino exclaimed in delight, embracing her two friends and the three of them began squealing all over again, causing the males at the table to all cringe in unison.

"What do you think?" Kiba asked in a low tone, "Do you reckon Hinata would go to the dance with me?"

"Maybe if you showered more than once in a blue moon," Sasuke sniffed, scrunching up his nose. Kiba did a quick sniff of his pits and glared at the younger Uchiha.

"Hey, I showered yesterday," he growled, taking offense as Sasuke just smirked at him with his condescending black eyes.

"Hey, leave Kiba alone," Naruto snapped crossly, "He may not have a chance with Hinata, but enough with the personal attacks, bastard!"

"Hn," Sasuke responded, refusing to rise to Naruto's bait.

"Sakura!" Lee exclaimed joyfully, "Will you do me the honour of accompanying me to the dance!"

"Lee, I've been telling you for over a year," Sakura sighed, facepalming, "I'm dating Sasuke." Lee seemed unperturbed by this fact and just shot her a thumbs off and darted off to annoy Kisame.

The rest of lunchtime passed with the girls discussing possible themes; with Shikamaru being yelled at by Temari for not contributing. Hidan dumped his spaghetti in Deidara's hair; to which he then received tomato sauce down his front; starting a mini food fight that ended when Kisame stood, dragged Deidara away from punching Hidan by the scruff of his neck and forcibly removed the plate of mashed potato from his clutches.

"Let me go, un!" Deidara squirmed, unable to escape from Kisame's grip except if he slid out of his shirt –which seemed a little too childish for the situation, "Kisame! Put me down!"

"Look at the little runt squirm!" Hidan chortled.

"I'll sick him on you next," Itachi threatened, and that shut him up rather abruptly, "Thank you, Kisame," he added, easily hiding the amusement from his voice. Kisame let Deidara drop to the ground in a crumpled, food-covered heap, ignoring the swearing and death threats that the fiery blonde was sending his way. The bell rang for the end of lunch, and Deidara stormed off angrily to see if he had a spare change of clothes in his locker still –for events such as this.

"Hidan, why do you have to go and pick on him?" Suigetsu complained with a heavy sigh as he picked up his things, "Do you _want_ mum to send you back to anger management again?"

"I don't fucking care," Hidan snapped, "That punk kid is a fucking pain in the ass and I'll do what I fucking feel like." He roughly shoved his brother, "…And don't you fucking tell mum anything." Suigetsu just sighed and looked over his shoulder at Shikamaru as Hidan headed off to his next class.

"Shika, what are we going to do with him?" he complained.

"Ask Temari," Shikamaru sighed, rubbing his temple in an attempt to get rid of his headache from his girlfriend yelling at him, "I can't make decisions."

"That's for sure," Temari snapped, striding past, looping her arm through his and dragging him off to their class. Suigetsu, Kisame and Itachi just watched them leave; Suigetsu wearing an incredulous expression.

"Women," Kisame sighed in his gruff voice, "…It's times like this that I'm glad I prefer men." Suigetsu's incredulous look didn't leave his face as he turned to face the big shark man. He wasn't the only one.

"You're gay?" Kiba spluttered. Kisame just looked at him, shrugged, and headed off to class. The eyes of their remaining friend group just stared as he left.

"He might not say much, but when he does…" Naruto remarked, mouth gaping.

"We don't all feel the need to spout continuous nonsense like some idiots around here," Sasuke smirked as he passed; tapping him under the chin to force his mouth shut.

"Agreed," Gaara commented flatly, stalking past with the younger Uchiha; his remark stopping Naruto's hot retort in its tracks. He just stared after the two of them, unable to believe that Gaara would betray him like that and side with the bastard.

"You do talk a lot," Kiba reminded him good naturedly. Naruto just scowled at him and mouthed 'traitor'.

* * *

"So how many times is it now that you've failed to ask her out, un?" Deidara inquired curiously of Kiba in their Psychology class two weeks later.

"Nine," he muttered bitterly as the blonde laughed at his friend's misfortune, "Nine times I have tried to walk up to her and ask her out."

"Are you counting the time when you walked up to her but Neji appeared so you just kept on walking?" Suigetsu teased.

"…Ten," Kiba complained, "Ten times! I have tried to ask her out _ten_ times, but her bloody cousin is _always_ there and I just freak out!"

"Just ask her anyways," Naruto shrugged, "What's the worse Neji's going to do?"

"…Kill me and eat my soul?" Kiba exclaimed, "Have you seen the guy; he gives looks that would make _Sasuke_ tremble in fear!"

"I highly doubt anything _Neji_ did could make the bastard _'tremble in fear'_," Naruto rolled his eyes, "But he's really got you running away with your tail between your legs!" The three of them laughed heartily at poor Kiba's expense.

"You try it," he grumbled, "Just try getting her alone; it's an impossible job! Neji's like a bodyguard or something…" He trailed off into angry mutters about how scary Neji was. "The way he looks at me! It's like he can see my soul!"

"That's probably why he doesn't want a dirty mutt like you anywhere near his sweet cousin, un," Deidara smirked and they all laughed in agreement again.

"You guys fucking suck," Kiba muttered crossly, folding his arms and refusing to accept their sniggering apologies. "Maybe I could try just asking to talk to her alone for a minute…yeah, that could work…"

"…If you could work up the nerve to talk in front of _Neji_," Naruto snickered and they all giggled like little girls again. "Why don't you get Shika to talk to Neji?" he suddenly suggested, seeing that Kiba really was looking forlorn, "I mean, he knows everyone; he could probably get Neji to agree to anything!"

"He's got a point, un," Deidara shrugged, "Shika can talk anyone into anything…"

"Like that time he made you dress as –" Kiba remarked slyly, but was instantly hit in the face with Deidara's book.

"THAT WAS ONE TIME! WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT!" He yelled angrily, fuming and folding his arms, letting his bangs flop back over his eye to show that he was highly affronted that Kiba would bring such a thing up.

"Sorry man, I know that was a low blow," Kiba apologised, unable to suppress a snort at the memory. Poor Deidara had never managed to live it down. It had only served to enhance Hidan's teasing; that was for sure.

"Is there a problem?" their lecturer inquired, and the whole class turned to face them.

"No sir," Kiba and Deidara sunk down low in their seats in embarrassment as Suigetsu and Naruto chuckled silently to themselves.

Truth be told, things weren't going Kiba's _or_ Deidara's way. Kiba might have been striking out on the asking out Hinata front, but Deidara was just plain getting into trouble; and all of it revolved around Hidan.

Except for that one time when he had accidentally spilt glue in Sasuke's hair; that had gotten him in quite a bit of trouble about a week ago; the bruise from where Sasuke had punched him in the ribs was just starting to fade –but mostly, everything was Hidan's fault.

He'd get shoved into lockers, pushed over in the showers; he'd been thrown in rubbish bins on three occasions. Hidan never missed an opportunity to publically humiliate or degrade Deidara. Sometimes the younger man won, leaving Hidan speechless, and then he would have about five seconds to gloat before running as something was thrown in his direction.

There were the verbal taunts of 'pretty boy', 'girly', 'slut', 'blondie' and 'princess' thrown around; nicknames that Deidara loathed with every fibre of his being. Hidan would yank his head or trip him –and every time, he felt the need to retaliate. How could he not? Hidan was a complete asshole. He'd even considered doing something to his precious car, but Deidara did actually value his life, so had refrained from doing anything more than kicking a wheel in clear sight of Hidan.

Itachi was actually mulling over these amusing incidents between Hidan and Deidara in English class whilst pretending to read as he watched Naruto and Sasuke arguing several rows in front of him. The current play they were reading was _Much Ado About Nothing_, and Itachi had read it many times before; hence why his mind was wandering.

It was while his mind was wandering that his eyes caught sight of a large, platinum-haired male of around twenty-one, maybe twenty-two being dragged semi-unconscious down the hallway by a familiar blue man. Hidan was looking a little black in the face and his hair was frizzled. Kisame looked over his shoulder and grinned toothily at Itachi through the door, knowing that the elder Uchiha would know exactly what had happened.

Deidara was a Chemistry major, and more often than not, he appreciated blowing things up or knocking things out. Sometimes those things included Hidan. Usually Kisame had to be called because Hidan nearly went on a massacre when he rose from unconsciousness. Itachi shook his head, allowing himself a small smile; Deidara certainly put up a very good fight.

Shikamaru was scowling; obviously not able to sleep because Naruto was yelling something again.

"Oh, your Fairy Highness, I forgot to mention that Kiba would really appreciate it if you talked to Neji," Itachi remarked, clearing his throat a little. "He's been trying to ask out Hinata Hyuga for some time, and feels that Neji is sabotaging him."

"Probably," Shikamaru muttered, "Neji has a stick up his ass and won't let anyone touch his cousin."

"Will you talk to him?"

"Troublesome."

Itachi knew that meant yes, and scrunched up a piece of paper; casually tossing it down to land in his brother's hair. Sasuke turned around, glaring daggers at his elder brother.

"Would the two of you kindly stop your foreplay and let the rest of us learn?" he inquired in an even tone. The rest of the class laughed heartily and Sasuke's glare deepened. Oh how Itachi lived for that livid glare and for others laughing at his little brother's expense.

"Thank you, Itachi," the professor sighed in relief; having been unable to control the fight that was about to break out.

"No problem, Iruka," Itachi replied smoothly; having been at University long enough to be on first-name basis with the professors.

"Now…back to where we were before Mr Uchiha and Mr Uzumaki decided to start a brawl over whether or not Don Pedro was cooler than Benedick," Iruka sighed, clearing his throat.

"He started it," Naruto grumbled, folding his arms.

"…_You_ started it, idiot," Sasuke snapped.

"Both of you go stand out in the corridor!" Iruka growled, and they both stared at him. Naruto's mouth dropped open. Sasuke just glared over at Naruto and exited the room; the epitome of calm.

Itachi could hear arguing the second the door slammed shut on them.

Naruto was fuming as he and Sasuke stood on opposite sides of the door, both their arms crossed; not looking at each other. Slowly, he felt his anger begin to recede. He didn't even know why he was mad in the first place. Sasuke seemed to sense him relax and did the same, though it would've been noticeable only to Naruto, the other Uchiha and the ever observant Shikamaru.

"Sorry for getting you kicked out of class," Naruto muttered, refusing to give the bastard the satisfaction of looking at him.

"…Forget it," Sasuke snorted, starting to head off, "Let's go get an early lunch."

And just like that, it was back to how it used to be before Sasuke had started showing interest in Sakura; it was like back how when they really had been like best friends. They stood in the line for the cafeteria in comfortable silence and Sasuke paid for their lunches without even having to think about it. They sat opposite one another at their group's usual table and ate in thoughtful silence.

"Want to go to the arcade this Saturday?" Naruto inquired suddenly.

"What?"

"You heard me. The arcade," Naruto repeated excitedly, "You know, just like the good old days?" Sasuke just raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh come on, you know you want to! _Please_!" Sasuke sighed.

He knew Naruto would just be persistent about this and nag and nag and try and make those god awful puppy eyes at him; then threaten him; then whine…it would turn into a big thing unless he said yes. He knew Naruto well.

"Fine."

Naruto punched the air triumphantly. They hadn't done anything in ages –not like how it was back in high school where they had gone to the arcade practically every Saturday and Sasuke had made him study, and Naruto had made him go to the beach and have fun.

"I'm going to kick your ass in Tekken," he informed the raven. Sasuke smirked, accepting the challenge.

"We'll see about that," he remarked; a competitive glint in his eye, taking a bite of what he knew was another god awful cafeteria lunch.

It wasn't long until the rest of their group began arriving for lunch. Itachi was one of the first there, and didn't miss the smile in his brother's eyes. Sakura had never been able to do that; only Naruto. He had to admit he missed having the blonde around; he had a sense of humour, and like Itachi; annoying Sasuke was one of his favourite activities.

He watched as Sakura bounced up and hugged Sasuke from behind; the smile fading from both Naruto's face and Sasuke's eyes. Itachi rubbed his forehead; perplexed as the arguments suddenly started up again; what was it about this time? Who had claimed the last fruit jelly cup? Neither Naruto nor Sasuke even liked them, and yet here they were, arguing about one as if it was their favourite food.

"Sasuke, I told my parents you'd be coming to my mum's birthday this Saturday," Sakura was saying as both she and Itachi took a seat at the table. Sasuke looked at her in slight annoyance and then across the table at Naruto, whose face had fallen.

"…I'm going to the arcade with Naruto," Sasuke informed her, to which she scowled.

"…I already told my parents you'd be coming," she reminded him and glared. Sasuke held her gaze for a while.

"Hn," he responded, going back to his food, and Naruto knew that that meant Sakura had won that round.

"…Since when did Sasuke Uchiha let himself get pushed around?" Naruto snapped at him.

"Since he's my boyfriend, and boyfriends do things with their girlfriends," Sakura growled possessively. Sasuke's eyebrow twitched in irritation.

"…What about best friends?" Naruto muttered miserably, "Best friends do things together; and they _don't_ steal the girl you're in love with…" And on that note, Naruto threw the contents of the fruit jelly cup in Sasuke's face and left the table, leaving Sasuke to wipe the jelly off his alabaster skin with as much dignity as he could.

"Idiot," Sasuke muttered under his breath. Itachi sighed. And things had been going so well.

* * *

**I personally kind of love Suigetsu and Hidan as brothers...  
Protective Neji... Quietly mischievous Itachi... **


	3. Chapter 3

**I hope you're enjoying this, if you're reading it! I absolutely loved writing it!**

* * *

"I spoke to Neji," Shikamaru remarked as he and Itachi sat out on the grass on the University lawns one lovely lunchtime with the dance looming just over two weeks away, "I managed to convince him to give Kiba a chance. He's going to observe his actions at the dance and act accordingly."

"Well that's good news for Kiba," Itachi commented, "Well, It does mean that at least now he's kind of on the way to actually asking her out."

"There is that hurdle to overcome," Shikamaru sighed, lying down and looking up at the clouds, "How troublesome."

"Shikamaru Nara!"

Both Itachi and Shikamaru looked up to see a wild-haired blonde storming across the lawn. Shikamaru stood to find that his girlfriend was angrier than she had ever looked.

"Where were you last night?" she snarled, and he could hear that her voice was choked.

"What?" he raised an eyebrow; very confused as to why she was yelling.

"You forgot, didn't you?" she yelled, "You forgot again! Just like you do every year!" He looked at Itachi for help, but the elder Uchiha knew when a man was beyond saving, "Our five year anniversary, Shikamaru! How could you forget? I reminded you _the day before_ and you _still_ stood me up!" She threw a bundle of papers in his face.

"Look at these Shika! This is what I've been trying to get your help on for this dance! And do you know what you've done? Nothing! I'm sick of it! I thought maybe this year, just_maybe_ after five years of us being together, that you could remember one _stupid_ anniversary!" Temari yelled, tears literally trickling down her chin. Shikamaru for once, was completely stumped for what to say, and Itachi watched as the usually bored male floundered.

"I've done this for five years! I haven't expected you to remember anything; I haven't expected a big, romantic gesture from you, _ever_! But I am done with always being forgotten!" Shikamaru had never seen Temari lose control like _this_ before.

Suddenly, her voice went quiet, and he hated it when her voice went quiet. It was dangerous.

"…We're over."

And just like that, he felt like his heart had crumbled. He watched her walk away; watched his beautiful now-ex girlfriend of five wonderful years walk away. Sure, maybe he hadn't appreciated her quite as much as she deserved; maybe he could've put a little more effort into remembering those anniversaries that she found so important…

He just stayed there, frozen, for what felt like an eternity. People were staring; people were muttering and whispering. It felt like the entire university population had seen that (well, Itachi could've sworn they all at least _heard _it); and poor Shikamaru…He just blinked several times and when the bell rang, normal life resumed.

Itachi didn't say he was sorry, because he knew Shikamaru wouldn't care for that. All he did was what he usually did as one of the genius' best friends; walked in silence with him to class.

The so-called King of the Fairies was even quieter than usual for the next few days; mulling over how he could get Temari back.

She wouldn't answer his calls; wouldn't talk to him in the hallways; didn't even sit with them at lunchtime. She was doing her utmost to shut him out; and it was working.

"She's never going to forgive me," Shikamaru groaned, lying on the desk in what Itachi might've called a pathetic way, had he been aware that Shikamaru Nara did _not_ do pathetic. Even so…

"You're being pathetic," Itachi informed him, earning a glare from the other boy.

"You have connections, right, Itachi?" Shikamaru suddenly asked, and Itachi sensed a favour.

"Of sorts," Itachi raised a questioning eyebrow.

"…You know…" Shikamaru lowered his voice and suddenly became very serious. Itachi liked it when he put on this voice; it meant he had a plan.

"…I've heard about this drink," he frowned, in a kind of scheming way, "It's a kind of tequila, and they call it 'Love in Idleness' and the story goes that when you fall asleep after drinking it, you fall in love with the first person you see when you wake up…" He raised an eyebrow at the Uchiha, "…You think you could find that drink?"

"…You're going to trick Temari into falling back in love with you?" Itachi deadpanned.

"Well that sounds harsh when you put it like that," Shikamaru rolled his eyes.

" –I'll see what I can do," Itachi interrupted, a dangerous gleam in his eye. Oh how he did love a good dose of trickery. 'Love in Idleness'? Interesting. He was pretty sure Kisame knew a guy who knew where to get such ridiculous items. With a sigh, he began to start on their second Shakespearean play, _A Midsummer Night's Dream_.

* * *

And there he had it; barely a week later; the dance in less than seven days. It looked fairly ordinary; just a regular, small bottle of tequila; but it smelled astounding. Itachi was fairly tempted to try it; just to see if it tasted as good as it smelled, but he didn't want to run the risk of anything strange happening. He liked _causing_ things; not having them happen to him.

"So are you going to tell me what you wanted that for?" Kisame inquired curiously as they entered Sakura's house for the party she was throwing that Saturday night.

"All in good time," Itachi smirked, and Kisame just rolled his eyes at his best friend's mischievous eyes.

"I know you Itachi, and you're up to something," Kisame sighed, clapping him on the shoulder and heading into the house, "And since I know you; I know it's nothing good…"

The party was already rowdy when the two of them arrived.

"I'll grab you a drink," Kisame informed his friend and wandered off to grab a couple of beers for them. Itachi smirked; an expression which soon faded when he saw that there was a throng of slutty, slightly drunk girls headed in his direction. He cursed inwardly; he hated dealing with drunk girls; despite how composed he always appeared. He definitely handled it better than Sasuke; who would get moody, glare and storm off.

He was practically getting pawed (and could've sworn someone groped him through his pants) when his friend arrived back to save him. One look from Kisame was enough to send them scurrying back to whatever holes they crawled out of.

"Thank you," Itachi sighed, retying his hair since some slut had tugged at it.

"Would you still be thanking me if I told you that I rather enjoyed watching that for about ten minutes before rescuing you?" Kisame smirked. Itachi glared from the corner of his eye.

"…I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," he sniffed, taking a mouthful of beer and getting settled into the party.

"Gaara, come drink with your big sister!' Temari was drunk. Gaara was unimpressed about this. He was sulking in the corner, trying his hardest to not be dragged into some ridiculous dance. Temari was having none of it. He knew that she was still depressed and upset about breaking up with who may have been the only man who could ever deal with her craziness, and did not intend to join her in her downward spiral.

"Oh come on, Gaara," Naruto was pretty drunk too, "…Have a drink! Lighten up!"

"I am perfectly happy," Gaara grumbled, in a tone, with an expression, that indicated that he was clearly anything but. Naruto wouldn't take no for an answer, and a drink was roughly shoved into the redhead's hand. Anyone else but Naruto probably would've had the bottle broken straight over their head. Naruto gave his friend a pleading look, and Gaara sighed heavily, taking a drink.

Anything to stop him from doing those god awful puppy eyes.

Suigetsu was doing absolutely everything in his power to ensure that Hidan and Deidara never crossed paths. He would've normally recruited Sasuke, but Sakura had dragged him away for a make-out session so he was on Hidan duty. If the two of them were bad while they were sober; they were deadly whilst drunk.

Deidara had a habit of combining harmless household products into rather explosive concoctions, which often ended up in the vicinity of Hidan; and Hidan just liked to throw punches. Usually, in any case, the yelling just got extreme, and the insults got borderline ridiculous, and didn't even make sense after a couple of rounds.

Suigetsu spotted Deidara heading for the garden shed, and grabbed his arm.

"Oh no you don't, Dei," he sighed, dragging the blonde back inside the house, "Remember what happened last time?"

"…But I wanna blow Hidan up…un…*hic*," Deidara complained, sounding particularly childlike.

"Maybe next time," Suigetsu rolled his eyes, "…Hell, he deserves it."

The party continued long into the night, and when people were drunk enough and Kisame wasn't watching him, Itachi quickly tipped a bit of the Love in Idleness into Temari's drink and handed it to her. She instantly sculled it; not caring what it was. She nearly toppled directly onto a rather unimpressed Neji, who was there only because Hinata had wanted to go since half the year group was going.

Gaara managed to drag himself over to where Neji was struggling with a thrashing Temari.

"Oh god…" Gaara groaned, "I feel awful…" He blinked several times and saw that Neji was helping Temari to her feet, "Neji…? Oh god…can you please…please put Temari to bed? She's…she's too drunk…"

"I may have to agree with you on that," Neji remarked in his formal, emotionless way, and decided he would do the redhead a favour since he was in no shape to look after his elder sister. He didn't know them particularly well, but it was common courtesy to look after a girl this drunk and prevent her from being taken advantage of by one of the less respectable males. He looked over and saw that Lee was conversing with Hinata, having not had a single drop of alcohol, and received a thumbs up. Good; Hinata would be safe while he dealt with this.

He helped Temari up the stairs to where he assumed the bedrooms were.

"*hic* you're…you're _Neji_ aren't you?" Temari was giggling to herself, stumbling along, running into walls. Neji pushed open the first door and found the room empty. As soon as she reached the bed, Temari promptly fell on it and closed her eyes. Neji sighed heavily.

"Temari, are you okay?" he inquired, and received no response other than a snore. He sighed once more and sat on the edge of the bed patiently. He would wait until it was a little quieter to leave her to sleep. He didn't want her to choke on her own vomit if left alone.

Itachi watched Temari leave the room with Neji and discovered that Shikamaru, who had been perfectly fine ten minutes ago when Itachi had decided to make his move, was now completely unconscious on the couch.

"Oh dear," he murmured to himself rubbing his chin thoughtfully, deciding that it was probably time he make a tactical retreat, despite how much he wanted to see how this played out.

* * *

Neji wearily checked the clock.

It was just past seven am.

He rubbed his eyes, not knowing quite how long ago he'd fallen asleep.

Temari was sprawled on the other side of the bed, her dress askew and looking like she was going to be incredibly hung over. She tossed in her sleep a little and he moved over to her to make sure she was okay. Her eyelids flickered open slightly.

"Neji?" she asked in a quiet, hoarse voice.

"Morning, Temari," he greeted her, "I'm glad to see you're okay." He was suddenly aware that she was running a hand through his long brown hair.

"…You have pretty eyes," she whispered sleepily, letting her hand run from his hair to his cheek, "And soft skin…" She closed her eyes and smiled, almost as if to herself. "…The things I would do to you…"

Neji pulled back immediately, his cheeks threatening to flame. Temari was pulling herself together; sitting up on the bed, her legs spread wide. He kept his eyes trained on anything but her. She was still drunk; she had to be.

"Come back here, please?" she asked in a shy voice, and Neji had no idea what to do. He was pretty sure one of his good acquaintances' ex-girlfriend was hitting on him. He'd never been in this situation before. But she was definitely still drunk, right? Thankfully, he was saved from embarrassment by the fact that she fell straight backwards onto the bed again and immediately began snoring.

"…I think she'll be fine now," Neji assured himself, making a quick getaway and hoping to never be put in such an awkward situation ever again. He was good with drunken people; he knew how to handle them; he wasn't _bad_ with girls…well, he wasn't _good_ with them either. He'd never really had enough interest in one to make a move; and they tended to keep their distance.

Temari caught him off guard; that was all.

* * *

Monday was a nightmare for Neji Hyuga. He didn't know how she did it, but Temari just managed to _be_ everywhere that he was. She would pass him in the hallways countless times, always just looking over at him shyly and then looking away, or brushing up against him whenever they passed each other in a doorway. He thought the shy role was entirely out of character for her and was at a loss as to explain what was going on. The day became a challenge to avoid coming into contact with her; a game that he appeared to be losing.

This was not lost on Itachi Uchiha. He had watched with amusement (and to be honest, a touch of glee) as the very confused Hyuga darted through the hallways trying to avoid one of Konoha University's most notorious-turned-docile females.

"What are you so happy about?" Sasuke snorted in his elder brother's direction as they entered English together.

"I don't know what you're talking about, little brother," Itachi shrugged it off, poking him in the forehead with a finger to indicate that he needed to mind his own business. He noted that Naruto had opted for a seat on the opposite side of the class; recalling that the two had had a scrap at the party; ending with punches being thrown and a wrestling match on a (now broken) coffee table.

"There _may_ have been a little bit of a…hiccup…put in your plan to get Temari back…" Itachi remarked in a low voice as he took his seat beside Shikamaru.

"Define 'hiccup'," Shikamaru's eyes narrowed slightly.

"Well," Itachi couldn't help but let the amusement seep into his voice, "…By the time I managed to spike Temari's drink, you were already in a blissful alcohol-induced coma, and now it appears that she is in love with the Hyuga."

"Please tell me you mean Hinata, because I can cope with that," Shikamaru sighed.

"I'm afraid not," Itachi definitely sounded amused this time as his Fairy Highness facepalmed and rolled his eyes.

"Well, you don't need to sound so happy about this," he groaned, "How did you manage to screw up?"

"I wasn't the one who coma'd," he retorted flatly, and patted Shikamaru's head condescendingly, "Come on, surely you can see how this is just a little amusing?" The other boy's face showed no trace of amusement so Itachi decided to take a little pity on him, "Don't worry, I'll fix it."

"I hope so," the other boy sighed, "I miss her…and now I'm going have to watch her mooning after bloody Neji…"

"Rest assured, everything is going to be completely fine," Itachi smirked a little too gleefully. Shikamaru looked at the Uchiha sideways, and knew that look. That look meant that Itachi was going to get up to mischief, and Itachi up to mischief…well, that meant no one could be sure of what was going to happen. Somehow, he felt not in the least bit reassured that everything was going to be completely fine.

* * *

**Scheming Itachi xD  
Leave a review :) I'd love to know what you all think of my original if you've read some of my newer ones!  
xx K **


	4. Chapter 4

**What lies in store? Tricks and romance, that's what!**

* * *

It was finally the night of the dance. Temari had finally decided on a 50's theme and all the girls arrived decked out in bright, fun dresses with their dates looking less than impressed.

"I've seen about enough suspenders to last a lifetime," Suigetsu complained with a sigh as Karin, his over-enthusiastic, kind of crazy, jealous-of-Sakura date tried to unsuccessfully drag him onto the dance floor for a third time. Shikamaru just sighed and ran a hand through his hair, trying to catch Temari's eye.

Unfortunately, she wasn't even remotely interested, as she was attempting to get Neji Hyuga to dance with her of course. He was stoically avoiding eye contact and appeared to be making excuses to get away from her.

"He seems nervous," Itachi remarked in amusement, watching the Hyuga flounder.

"Ever seen him converse with a female other than his cousin?" Suigetsu rolled his eyes, "Come on Itachi, the guy's a social idiot when it comes to women."

"I don't care if he's nervous," Shikamaru sighed, "I just want you to fix this…"

"I have everything under control; don't worry," Itachi patted him on the shoulder.

"Go on, Itachi," Kisame suddenly nudged him in the shoulder, "Go dance; I've seen at least a dozen girls eyeing you up…"

"Let them look," Itachi shrugged, "I have no interest in them." Kisame just rolled his eyes and sipped at his punch, "Why did you come? You hate dances?"

"You needed a lift," the blue man shrugged, as though this was a perfectly legitimate reason for coming to something he hated. Itachi merely continued surveying the room that was now full of university students dancing (and probably secretly drinking).

"Shikamaru, didn't you have something you promised Kiba you'd do?" he frowned, raising an eyebrow at the genius, who sighed yet again at the reminder.

"Troublesome," he muttered, skirting around the dance floor and heading for Hinata, who Neji had tactfully placed between himself and Temari. As soon as he and the Hyuga heir headed out onto the dance floor, Kiba sidled up, looking suspiciously out at his friend.

"He's dancing with her!" his mouth dropped open incredulously, "Shikamaru's dancing with Hinata? What! That…that's so unfair! What's going on? She's supposed to be dancing with me!"

"Cool it, Kiba," Suigetsu shrugged, "I'm sure it's nothing."

"But it could be something," Kiba whined, "No! Not tonight! I can't compete with the fucking King of the Fairies! The guy's incredible! I was _sure_ tonight was going to be the night!" He let out a frustrated noise. "I can't believe he'd do this to me! He knew how I felt about her!" He aggressively punched a plastic cup off the table and stormed off to the bathroom, muttering angrily and kicking out at a chair as he passed.

More than one person facepalmed.

"I'll go get him," Suigetsu sighed, getting up from his chair. No sooner had he made a motion to do so than a female with wild red hair captured his arm and tugged him out onto the dance floor. "No Karin!" Suigetsu could be heard pleading, "I told you, I don't dance!" He threw his friends a desperate look, to which they just waved and wished him luck.

"_I'll_ go get Kiba," Kisame decided, rolling his eyes and handing Itachi his punch, "Itachi, don't you think you should maybe help out the Hyuga?" Without waiting for a response, he headed after Kiba, leaving Itachi sitting there by himself, pondering the best course of action.

He spied Gaara moping over in the corner; Naruto trying to cheer him up and goad him into dancing. The blonde seemed to have not yet noticed Sasuke and Sakura dancing nearby; or the guilty looks Sasuke was flinging him. Brushing off his shirt and adjusting his suspenders, Itachi downed the cup of punch Kisame had given him and made his way over to poor Neji.

"Please Neji, will you dance with me?" Temari asked coyly, "I promise I don't bite…"

"I don't dance," he replied stiffly, watching every move Shikamaru was making his Hinata. They seemed engaged in conversation, "I…Temari, didn't you just break up with Shikamaru?"

"Well yes," she shrugged, "But I'm over him now…I have a new interest…" She took a step closer to him, and Neji stiffened, flushing slightly from the anticipated proximity.

"Evening, Temari."

Neji never thought he would be pleased to hear the voice of an Uchiha.

"Oh, hello Itachi," she commented, apparently not sure whether her voice should sour in the presence of her ex-boyfriend's good friend, "Give a girl some advice; how do you get the man of your dreams to dance with you?"

"…Well, I would definitely say that getting him some punch would be a good start," he remarked conversationally, and then lowered his breath, "Rumour is; Hidan spiked it. A few cups down him and Neji will be all yours…" Temari winked at him in thanks, and as she walked past Neji to the punch bowl on the other side of the room, Itachi saw her briefly cup his junk.

Needless to say, Neji was looking red and uncomfortable.

"How do I handle her?" he sighed, completely at a loss. Itachi tried not to look too amused.

"You could always ask her brother?" he suggested innocently, "Gaara? He probably knows her best."

"That's true," Neji frowned thoughtfully, "I mean, she says she's over Shikamaru, and I'm sure she's a nice girl if I only…"

"…Knew how to handle women?" Itachi finished, ignoring the cross look he was then gifted with.

"I suppose I could talk to him after class one day," Neji mulled to himself. Itachi immediately disregarded this idea.

"I know for a fact that Gaara always heads down to Suna; you know; the bar on campus?" he offered, "I work there Thursdays and he always comes in. It'd probably be a good time to talk to him; you know…a casual environment." Neji looked at him sideways and Itachi made sure that his face was as innocent and unreadable as could be.

"That's a good idea," he admitted, "You always have such good advice, Itachi." He appeared to see something in his peripheral vision, "Oh god she's coming back…I'm going to the bathroom…and maybe staying there. Keep an eye on Hinata for me, will you?" And on that note, he scurried off in a very smooth, orderly fashion to the men's bathrooms, and Itachi faded off into the background so he wouldn't be accosted by the love struck Temari.

Deidara was hanging out with Sasuke and Sakura a bit later on when they were joined again by Itachi and poor Suigetsu, who was looking considerably worse for wear. He had emerged from the girls bathroom with what appeared to be a large collection of hickeys and a suspicious amount of makeup on his neck and clothes.

"Keep her away from me," he announced, sliding into a chair and trying to be as invisible as possible, "She's a shark; and violent, and agreeing to go to the dance with her was probably the worst decision of my life."

"There's that time you put bleach in Sasuke's shampoo," Sakura reminded him.

"…Agreeing to go the dance with her was still the worse decision of my life," Suigetsu repeated flatly as Sasuke threw both his friend and his girlfriend a death glare for having brought up that incident, "Anyway, that was totally Naruto's idea. I just…went along with it…" Sasuke glared again and rolled his eyes.

"What was my fault?" Naruto inquired curiously, heading over, "And anybody seen Kiba?" he added, not bothering to wait for what was his fault; it probably _was_.

"I found him," Kisame's gruff voice suddenly announced, and he appeared, dragging two brunettes by their collars, "I found these two hiding in the bathroom stalls…" He gave them both reproachful looks, "Come on, Kiba, stop cowering; Neji, quit glaring at him."

Thankfully, that was the time Shikamaru decided to show up, with Hinata hanging from his arm.

"I've been looking for you for ages," Shikamaru remarked to Kiba, "Where have you been?"

"Hiding so you can have Hinata all to yourself…" Kiba grumbled under his breath.

"Itachi…" Shikamaru glared, knowing that Itachi had purposely withheld his real intent of going and asking Hinata to dance, "Kiba, you're an idiot. You were so terrified of Neji and took so long asking her out that I went and did it for you." Kiba stared up at his friend and then over at Hinata, who was blushing wildly.

"And she's cool with it," Shikamaru shrugged, "Congratulations on the new girlfriend…"

"Not girlfriend," Neji interjected swiftly, causing Kiba to shrink under his stare again, "Date. He can _date_ Hinata under probationary conditions. He is not yet qualified to be her_boyfriend_."

"Yes sir –I mean…yes Neji," Kiba managed to squeak out as Kisame let go of his collar, finally certain that the mutt wasn't about to run away again.

"Nice work, un," Deidara grinned, clapping him on the shoulder as he went over to shyly introduce himself properly to Hinata; the two of them blushing and stuttering like mad. "I think drinks are in order, un," he added, and headed off to get some.

Everyone else saw it coming before he did. He was precariously carrying back four drinks, when who should just so happen to bump into him, causing the drinks to spill all over himself; Hidan of course.

They couldn't hear what was being yelled over the sound of the music, but there was definitely a lot of aggressive jabbing of fingers, and a bit of patronising yanking of hair from Hidan. Their friends couldn't help but laugh at poor Deidara's expense; then at Hidan's as Deidara successfully upended a cup over the other man's head.

"Suigetsu, your brother is so aggressive," Sakura sighed, shaking her head as the two began to push each other snappily.

"I think that's why he tries to get laid so much," Suigetsu ran a hand through his hair, "All that anger has to go somewhere I suppose; but no matter how man chicks he sleeps with; it's never enough for him…"

"Shall I go break them up?" Kisame inquired of Itachi, and then discovered that his friend was smirking mischievously.

"Oh, I know that face…" he groaned, "What are you thinking?"

"…What would you guys think about Hidan and Deidara _together_?" he suggested innocently.

"What, like as a couple?" Naruto scoffed.

"Exactly," Itachi rubbed his hands together, almost in glee. He was immediately shouted down as to why that was a terrible idea and nothing would ever come of it since both of them were straight. "Hear me out! Hidan obviously picks on Deidara so much because he's got a crush on him…"

"So not true," Suigetsu rolled his eyes, "I'd know if my brother was gay! That's not the reason."

"I know," Itachi pointed out, "_But_ Deidara wouldn't know that for sure…" They all paused, "I bet we can get them together…But it would definitely take all of us…"

"Okay, I'm game, I'll take that bet," Suigetsu smirked, "Oh god, if it's messing with Hidan, I'm totally in." Slowly, they all agreed to hear Itachi's plan out and see if he could really achieve the impossible; getting two straight males that hated each other together.

Shikamaru just laughed along with the rest of them and smiled slightly as he saw Hinata and Kiba subtly holding hands. Well, even if Itachi was just overly ambitious, at least there was one happy ending that had come out of this.

He looked across the dance floor and spied Temari talking to some of her friends and trying to cheer up her chronically sulking brother. She looked up and caught his eye for the briefest of moments, but he didn't even have the chance to smile at her before she turned her back to him and headed out of sight. With a frown, he tapped Itachi on the shoulder.

"…Since you fucked up so badly last time, I hope you weren't planning on using that magic drink to make Hidan fall in love with Deidara," Shikamaru muttered under his breath, "You'd better have a backup plan, because that stuff shouldn't be used any more…"

"Don't you worry, Shikamaru; your Fairy Highness," Itachi assured him, that strange glint that made the genius nervous still present in his eyes.

The elder Uchiha was satisfied. Things were about to get _very_ interesting.

Just the way he liked it.

The only thing that would make his plans even better was if he could involve his precious little brother.

* * *

**Hooray for Shakespeare! Will Itachi's plan succeed?**


	5. Chapter 5

It was Wednesday after the dance, and the group of friends had managed to keep Deidara and Hidan out of sight of each other; with a little difficulty to be fair. Luck was not in their favour that morning, it seemed, as when they arrived for lunchtime, the two were already bickering at their usual table.

"Just get the hell out of my face, Hidan, un!" Deidara was snapping, shoving his tray down the table so that Hidan was further away from him.

"You fucking look at me when I yell at you, girlie," Hidan growled, yanking back on Deidara's hair so that the younger boy tripped and spun around crossly, his hair flying everywhere. "Wasn't so fucking hard was it?"

"Back the fuck off, un!" Deidara snapped again, trying to see past his hair that was now all over his face.

"Ooh, did I upset you, girlie? Did I mess up your hair?" Hidan taunted; to which Deidara stalked forwards and ruffled up the other boy's perfectly slicked back hair. Hidan looked furious and swung a punch that Deidara neatly back stepped.

"What's wrong, asshole;_ did I mess up your hair_, un?" he mocked in return, folding his arms, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"You know what the hell is wrong; what the _fuck_ did you do to my car?"

"I bumped it, un! It was a fucking _accident_!" he yelled back, "If I had _meant_ to do anything, you'd know about it!"

"I _saw_ you fucking kick it," Hidan snarled, "Just know that…" Deidara did not hang around to find out what he was supposed to know; he just stormed off past Hidan, flipping his tray up into his face and spilling food all over the bigger man. He kicked a rubbish bin in annoyance as he tried to tie his hair back up on his way out of the cafeteria.

"Wow bro…you broke Deidara," Suigetsu remarked in mild amusement and slight concern for his friend, "Jesus, Hidan, there's no need to be so mean to the poor guy."

"He touched my car," Hidan snorted, "He had it coming to him…" The platinum-haired man settled down to eat what remained of his lunch whilst ignoring the growing stains on his clothing. The rest of lunch was spent with his friends glancing over his mutinous looks and deciding that it was time to put Itachi's somewhat crazy plan into action.

The bell rang and they all scattered as inconspicuously as possible.

Hidan sighed to himself and looked at his ruined shirt. That fucking bitch Deidara…At least he had basketball practice soon, so he'd have a change of clothes in his locker. He turned to see if Neji was around to walk to practice with, but he'd already wandered off. Jackass. Not even Kisame was still at the table, and he hated being early for practice. What was with everyone today?

He hoisted his backpack onto his shoulder and skulked off towards the gymnasium, throwing filthy glares at anyone who so much as dared to glance at his stain-covered clothing. Fuck, he was definitely going to make that stupid little blonde pay for what he'd done.

It was with these mutinous thoughts in mind that Hidan reached the changing rooms a little early, hoping to sneak an extra shower before the rest of the team showed up. He was about to round the corner of the locker stands, when he heard his name.

"…Hidan's just being so mean to Deidara," Kisame was saying in his gruff voice.

"Yeah, I know right? You think he'd act any different if he knew the truth?" Kiba inquired hopefully.

"As if," Sasuke grumbled as he started getting changed, "I mean, really? You think Hidan would stop being such a jackass if he found out that Deidara liked him?" Hidan's mouth dropped open and he ducked back behind the lockers. Jesus! The filthy little blonde _liked _him? There was no way that was true! Girlie had hated him for god knows how long! But somehow, he had to stay; just to see if he was correct. Sasuke, Neji and Shikamaru were there with Kisame and Kiba; so just _maybe_ there was some truth to this all?

Sasuke, who had seen the movement, despite how sneaky Hidan had thought he was, raised an eyebrow at Shikamaru to confirm that yes; their target was present and listening quite intently.

"You're right," Kiba admitted, backing down.

"Poor guy," Shikamaru sighed, "It's really quite troublesome. All he's been trying to do is get Hidan's attention over the years, and Hidan just goes out and sleeps with god knows how many other trashy women."

"How could he not have realised that there was something more to the fights they had?" Neji raised an eyebrow.

"You don't know him like we do," Sasuke snorted, "Hidan's self-absorbed. He wouldn't notice."

"Then how does he get so many women?" Neji's voice held a trace of envy.

"If _he_ likes them; he takes them," Shikamaru explained, "If they like him or not when he goes for them is irrelevant."

"Was Deidara going to ever say anything?" he inquired, 'Tell him what was really going on, I mean?"

"Never," Sasuke scoffed, "The _last_ person Deidara wanted to know was Hidan."

"He might tease him; _or_ he might flat out ignore him," Kisame offered, "And Deidara would rather they were fighting and Hidan noticing him, than completely ignoring him…"

"Poor guy," Kiba muttered sympathetically. "Anyway, how did you guys find out? Why am I the last to know?"

"I found out ages ago…" Sasuke shrugged simply, "I was staying at his place, and you know how Deidara talks in his sleep…" All five boys present leaned in intently, their eyes wide, and Sasuke smirked, "Let's just say…he was quite enjoying the dream he was having about Hidan…" They all gasped; mouths dropping open.

"…You'll never guess what I found in his room one time I was there…" Kisame added, and their attention turned to him expectantly.

"What did you find?" Neji prompted when Kisame found he didn't really have a follow on comment. He fumbled for a second and whipped out his phone and made them gather in. Hidan craned his neck to see what it was that they were looking at. Kiba let out a low whistle and they broke apart again, all staring at a smug Kisame.

"Jesus Kisame, you shouldn't have taken a picture of _that_," Shikamaru frowned reproachfully, "Deidara would probably _kill_ us if he knew we'd seen it!"

"You know how I dated Dei's cousin Ino?" Kiba remarked, as though suddenly just remembering something, "She _did_ mention that he used to always talk about Hidan at home. Fuck! Why didn't I see this before?"

"Well, if you didn't notice, it means that Hidan still hasn't," Neji offered, following Sasuke's lead and starting to get changed, "He's too busy making fun of the poor guy to see that Deidara actually likes him…"

"For the life of me, I can't think why," Shikamaru rolled his eyes, "This has been going on for _years_ and Deidara still puts up with Hidan's shit and hasn't moved on…"

"…Maybe we should just _tell_ Hidan?" Kiba suggested, and immediately got shouted down by the other boys. "What? What could go wrong?"

"Well just that we all know Hidan would just laugh in our faces and go rip the shit out of Deidara for liking cock," Kisame reminded him, "We can't do that to Deidara; he's had enough shit from him already."

"True," Sasuke admitted, "And besides, we all know Hidan's too much of a dick to give Deidara a chance."

"Dei's definitely too good for the likes of _him_," Kiba snorted, pulling on his basketball singlet, "Why don't we just go tell him that it's pointless and that Hidan's too weak to handle being with another dude…"

Hidan fumed. They thought he was _weak_? They thought he was nothing more than a jackass? They thought he couldn't handle being with a guy? They thought that there was someone out there who was _too good_ for _him_? His pride was severely wounded, and that was exactly what Kiba had been aiming for.

_Nice one_, Kisame mouthed to Kiba, since Hidan couldn't see him.

"I've tried," Sasuke sighed heavily, rolling his eyes, "He says he can't change how he feels. _He_ seems to think Hidan has some redeeming qualities…"

"Must be the only one," Neji snorted condescendingly, "Considering that he's the person Hidan treats worse in the world…"

"In any case, there's no point telling Hidan," Kisame grumbled, "Because if he went and confronted Deidara about it; he'd just lie through his teeth. Personally I think he'd rather _die_than show any sign that he liked him."

"I can see why," Kiba sniffed, "I think maybe he's a little embarrassed that he likes Hidan…I mean, most of us found out kind of by accident, right? He'd never _tell_ anyone…"

"Of course he's embarrassed," Shikamaru scoffed, "Who wouldn't be embarrassed about liking a redneck jackass that hated you and tried destroying your self-esteem?" They all sighed in silent agreement and Shikamaru beckoned them all forwards so they were huddled with their backs facing Hidan's hiding place.

"…Okay, I think that should do," he muttered, "We've given Hidan enough to think about. It's troublesome, but it should be good if Itachi's plan works…" They nodded in agreement and broke apart.

"They might call you King of the Fairies, but that's a perfect idea, Shikamaru," Neji decided, moving on impulse, and the other boys staring at him, frowning, "We should _definitely_ find someone to set Deidara up with; someone more worthy of his love than Hidan."

"Careful, Neji, you're starting to sound like Lee," Kiba teased, flicking him with his towel as they began to head out to the gymnasium, "But yeah, Shika that's a great plan. Set him up with someone who's not too weak and afraid to actually be a nice person to him."

"I'll see what I can do," Shikamaru grinned, and they headed out to get in some shots before practice. Hidan just stared at the spot that they had been talking in as he got undressed and headed to have a pre-practice shower. He let the warm water wash over him as he cursed to himself.

"So they fucking think I'm too _weak_ to be a nice guy?" he snarled, "That _blondie _is too good for me and would rather _die_ than admit that he likes me because he's _ashamed_ of me! And they would have the nerve to try set him up with someone _better than me_?" He angrily glared at the taps, washing the gel out of his hair.

"…I'm the best there fucking is!" he growled to himself through gritted teeth, "There's _no one_ too good for me! Fuck me…" his eyes softened slightly, "I had no idea that was why he fucking picked fights with me…Just doesn't want me to ignore him…Fuck, maybe I am a jackass for not noticing…And they think I'd just be fucking awful to him…Well, I might've been but still…" He mulled things over to himself for a while as he stood in the shower; getting rid of the sticky patches that had formed on his skin from his lunch.

"…I'll fucking prove them wrong," he decided, turning the shower a little warmer and letting it pour over his back, "I can be a fucking nice guy; _no one_ should be fucking ashamed of liking _me_! I could _totally_ handle being with a guy; I mean he's pretty fucking girly to begin with –NO, shut the fuck up, Hidan; I'm going to be a bit nicer to him; just to show those assholes that they're fucking _wrong_: they don't know me!"

With this in mind, he finished his quick shower and grabbed a towel, stopping to admire himself briefly in the mirror and noticing that he looked particularly dashing in that instant. With a smug smirk about how hot he was looking, he headed over to get changed, only to hear the door to the gymnasium open and then swing shut. He looked up and saw Deidara standing there in his volleyball uniform, looking rather unimpressed that he was there. Hidan was about to say something rude and then quickly remembered his resolution.

"Hey there," he remarked, raising an eyebrow and leaning up against one of the lockers; clearly showing off his incredible abs and defined muscles. Deidara looked anywhere except for Hidan and folded his arms.

"Your coach sent me in here looking for you, un," he snapped crossly.

"Are you sure you didn't just want to come see me?" Hidan remarked slyly, causing Deidara to look at him and then stare in slight surprise at seeing Hidan practically naked, with a small towel hanging precariously off his hips.

"Why would I want to ever fucking see you, un?" he snorted, averting his gaze again before he got distracted by how Hidan was standing. "…Your coach thought you were with the others and sent me in here when you didn't come out with them. He thought you were sneaking extra showers, un…"

"Which is what I was doing," Hidan smirked, running a hand through his hair almost seductively, "Well, you found me…"

"I guess I did, un," Deidara fumbled, looking up at Hidan and giving him a strange look. He was being very unusual; and he hadn't started yelling yet, "Are you okay, Hidan? You seem…weird…" Hidan just smirked.

"Worried about my wellbeing, are we?" he inquired cheekily.

"No!" Deidara hurriedly defended, flushing, "Get your ass out to practice, un!" And on that note, he stormed off out the doors again. Hidan grinned to himself as the doors slammed shut and he began getting dressed into his basketball uniform. It was so cute that Deidara was so flustered about him.

_Cute_; wait, what?

No, he corrected himself. He didn't think _Deidara_ was cute; just the way he just reacted to seeing him practically naked. Hidan was convinced that he was at his absolute hottest when he was lacking clothes, and now he'd gifted blondie with such an image. He wondered what Kisame had taken a photo of, but decided to put it to the back of his mind and head to practice so his coach couldn't make him run laps.

* * *

Deidara was exhausted after volleyball practice and decided that he'd head back to his room for a rest since his classes were over for the day. It was while he was minding his own business that he just so happened to overhear what he felt was a very strange conversation.

"Hey Suigetsu, by the way; is it true what they've been saying about Hidan?" Sakura was saying in a hushed tone as he lay on the grass with Naruto, Suigetsu and Hinata. They all looked intrigued. "…I hear he likes Deidara?"

"What? Really? Hidan like –" Naruto exclaimed, and Sakura immediately clamped a hand over his mouth and gave him a filthy look.

"Shut up, idiot! You want _everyone_ to know?" she snapped, "Well, Suigetsu?"

"Oh, Hidan's going to _kill_ me if he knows I told you…" Suigetsu complained, "Yeah…it's true all right." They all gasped.

"H-How do you know?" Hinata asked quietly, "H-He always seems to _mean_ to Deidara?"

"He's just being typical Hidan," Suigetsu sighed heavily, "I think he's a bit ashamed that he likes another guy, so he tries to cover it with being really mean."

"…So…He really just wants to interact with Dei?" Sakura murmured sadly, "That's so sad! Why didn't he just say something instead of hiding it?"

"What, and have Dei just laugh in his face? Hidan's got _way_ too much of an ego for that," Suigetsu reminded her.

"Are you sure?" Naruto queried, "I mean; if he likes Dei, then he hides it pretty damn well…" Deidara was thinking much the same thing from his hiding spot behind the tree.

"Trust me," Suigetsu assured them, "With the pictures I found on his computer, there is _no way_ he's not attracted to the dude…" Deidara found himself flushing red at the very thought of what kind of pictures Hidan might have on his computer. Suigetsu shuddered, "He's also not very quiet when he's in the shower…"

"Oh, now I didn't need that," Sakura gagged as Hinata instantly flushed scarlet at the implication. "…How long has he liked him?"

"Ages," Suigetsu sighed, "Didn't you guys ever wonder why Hidan just kept picking fights with him? Like, it was too often to be normal, right?"

"Come to think of it, maybe Hidan's overcompensating with all the girls he sleeps with because he's trying to convince himself that he doesn't like a guy," Sakura speculated curiously, "You reckon Deidara would go out with him?"

"No way!" Naruto snorted, "Deidara's way too much of a snob to even think about getting with someone like Hidan; wouldn't even give him the time of day!"

"Does H-Hidan know that?" Hinata asked shyly.

"…Of course," Suigetsu rolled his eyes, "Why else would he have kept it a secret for so long? He knows that Deidara's never going to be interested in him! I mean, that guy's about as frigid as they come, right?"

"I do think he has image issues," Sakura admitted, "He's too uptight to do anything but the norm…why would he ever date a guy?"

"He probably never would because he's so busy trying to prove that he's a _man_," Suigetsu snorted, "You know, a man who is supposed to date women and such…"

Deidara glared at Suigetsu's back; they thought he was frigid? They thought he had _image_ issues! A _snob_? Him? He froze. Wait; Hidan liked him? The gravity of the situation hit him right then and he sat back against the tree with eyes wide, not really know how to handle what he was hearing.

Sure, Hidan had fought with him for years and years, but he never thought that maybe it was because Hidan just didn't know how to convey feelings properly…He thought back to their fights; there sure was a lot of physical contact. Maybe Hidan had just being subconsciously trying to get closer to him? And Deidara had just retaliated with anger and hatred. He felt a little bad.

"Why don't we just tell Deidara that Hidan likes him?" Deidara was jolted from his thoughts by Naruto's question. He was instantly shouted down by Sakura and Suigetsu and earned a hefty punch to the head by Sakura.

"Idiot," she snorted, "Hidan would _never_ admit to it! After all these years, Deidara would just think he was joking and mock him for the rest of his life; probably hate him even more! And besides, even if we told Dei, he'd probably still make fun of Hidan for being gay…he's pretty closed minded…" They all mumbled their agreement and sighed heavily.

"Guys, you can't tell anyone you know," Suigetsu reminded them hurriedly, "He hasn't even openly told any of us, so we can't just go outing him, let alone letting Dei know how he really feels…" The others all quickly promised to keep their mouths shut about it, and began packing up their things to leave. Deidara decided to quickly make an exit before he was discovered.

As he walked away, he couldn't help but fume at what they were saying; they thought he was close-minded? Well, that was kind of good because at least they didn't know he was bisexual; or at least, Sasuke hadn't told anyone. He cursed, remembering the incident years ago where the younger Uchiha had caught him making out with another guy. Of course, he'd had to swear him to secrecy; at least until he decided how he felt. Years later, he was pretty confident he was bi, but was yet to decide which way he preferred. In all fairness, he hadn't slept with a man before; but he'd done other things, and enjoyed them.

Hidan? Deidara was a little baffled. He might not've believed it unless it was straight from Suigetsu's mouth; after all, who knew Hidan better than his own brother? The more he thought about it; the more it made sense. Hidan; secretly gay; it really would explain his overly macho attitude and the teasing Deidara had suffered for looking feminine.

Suddenly, the image of Hidan from earlier; dripping and half naked entered his mind, and he found himself blushing as he walked. Well; he was pretty hot; he'd give him that. Maybe_this_ was why Hidan had acted so different when they were alone together! God, he'd been so blind!

And his friends thought he'd be horrible to him? If he'd known Hidan liked him sooner, he would've been so much nicer! He squared his jaw and decided that he was going to prove to his friends that he _wasn't_ a snob. He _wasn't_ close minded, and that maybe it was a good time to start thinking about coming out of the closet.

He was so absorbed in his own thoughts that as he rounded the corner to one of the buildings, he walked straight into someone, and was promptly thrown to the ground; the other person falling directly on top of him.

" –Watch where you're fucking…blondie?" Hidan's voice remarked from above him. Deidara opened the eyes that he discovered he had closed and looked up to find that he had fallen quite hard onto his ass and that Hidan was now sprawled over him with a confused expression.

"Oh. Hi Hidan, un," Deidara greeted in a small voice, brushing his hair out of his face.

Hidan looked down at the blonde beneath him and refrained from making some rude comment because he had a point to prove, and wordlessly got up off him. Deidara remained on the ground for what felt like a long time, just looking up at him.

_He must be surprised that I'm not beating him up_, Hidan thought to himself rather smugly, _see, you assholes, I can be fucking good_! To add to this thought, he stuck out a hand to the fallen blonde, who just stared at it for a very long moment before taking it and hauling himself up.

"Sorry, un," he commented awkwardly.

"No, it was my fault," Hidan shrugged, "Where you headed?"

"Just going home, un," Deidara replied, expecting fighting to break out any moment now.

"You live in Sampson Block, right?" Hidan raised an eyebrow and the blonde nodded shortly, "I'm heading there for band practice…I'll walk with you…" Wordlessly, he turned, and Deidara dropped into step beside him after a brief moment of hesitation.

"You play an instrument?" he inquired rather curiously.

"What of it?" Hidan snapped, and Deidara recoiled and clutched at his hair, expecting it to be yanked. The pain never came, as it appeared Hidan was taking a deep breath, "…Sorry blondie. I play three, actually; guitar, violin and piano." Deidara couldn't help but let his mouth fall open in shock, to which Hidan actually laughed; and not the kind of cruel laugh that he was used to.

Suigetsu and Naruto peered out from behind the tree that they were hiding behind and grinned at each other. This was unexpected but perfect.

"Itachi might be crazy, but this might actually work," Naruto remarked in awe of Itachi's planning skills.

"This is the first time I've seen them talking without yelling at each other," Suigetsu's mouth had dropped open. Deidara appeared to even be laughing at something Hidan was saying. "Jesus; can the world _get_ any crazier?"

If either of them had been able to predict what was going to happen the next day; they would've known that the world could indeed get a whole lot crazier.

* * *

**Wait and see how the world ****_can_**** get crazier! :D **

**Let me know what you think! I love the high school/college style fics! **

**xx K**


	6. Chapter 6

Ugh!" Shikamaru groaned dramatically, clamping his hands over his ears, "Don't they know there are people trying to sleep in this class?" Itachi raised his head from the play he was reading; _As You Like It_ and observed the loud confrontation that Sasuke and Naruto were currently engaged in at the front of the class while Iruka was having a small breakdown in the corridor because of them.

Iruka, in an attempt to transform their rivalry into something productive, had asked the two boys to construct brainstorms on the themes of the Shakespearean plays the class had read. Unfortunately, this had backfired for some rather unknown reason, and the two had started yelling.

Naruto had been the first to throw a punch, and when he had failed to break up the fight that ensued, Iruka had just gone into the hall and was probably rocking back and forth. Other members of the class had tried to do what he could not, and now the entire classroom was in an uproar; people taking sides every which way and chaos reigning supreme.

Shikamaru had been trying to take a much needed nap throughout the event, and had had enough. He was glad that Suigetsu had reported positively on tricking Hidan and Deidara, but he was still annoyed that Itachi hadn't made good yet on fixing things with Temari. So he had decided to do what he always did in these situations; sleep.

Naruto and Sasuke, and now the rest of the class, had different ideas, it seemed.

"Itachi, fix this, would you?" Shikamaru growled rather crossly, jamming his book over his head to see if that drowned out any of the noise, "Stop those two fighting! I took this paper for a bit of peace and quiet and now this is just troublesome." Itachi wordlessly got up out of his seat and headed down the stairs, straight towards the struggle.

The other students parted for him as he approached Naruto and Sasuke with his beautiful Uchiha mask of a face set in place. He calmly laid a hand on the backs of each Sasuke and Naruto's shirts, and without even blinking, slammed their foreheads together and then pushed them back onto the ground.

"What the hell was that for?" Sasuke growled, angrily pressing a hand to his stinging forehead.

"Back to your seat, little brother," Itachi commanded in an even tone. Sasuke dealt him a death glare, but his elder brother was immune and merely stared back expectantly. Muttering curses, Sasuke returned to his seat with as much dignity as possible as Itachi asked the same of Naruto. When all the students were back in their seats, he went to the door and pulled it open to find Iruka curled up against the doorframe.

"Iruka, you can come back inside now," he informed the professor.

"Thank you Itachi," Iruka breathed a sigh of relief and got to his feet. Itachi went back to his seat and picked up his book, trying not to show his amusement.

"Thank god," Shikamaru yawned, thankful for the quiet, "Now, if you could just stop them fighting that would be _perfect_…" He laid his head down on the desk and closed his eyes. Itachi just observed the death glares that Naruto was flinging Sasuke and the waves of ignoring that Sasuke was giving off, and smirked to himself.

"I'll see what I can do," he remarked.

* * *

Neji took a deep breath as he stared up at _Suna_, the bar that Itachi worked at and where he said Gaara went for a drink on Thursday nights. Maybe the redhead could provide some insight into what his crazy sister was up to, and what he should do about it.

Upon entering the bar, he spied Itachi and Kisame making drinks; Gaara and Naruto were already drinking at the bar with Naruto telling some ridiculous story and Gaara actually smiling slightly at it. As he scanned the area, Neji noted that Sakura and Sasuke were sharing a few intimate drinks together over in the corner and hoped that Naruto wouldn't notice; he and Sasuke drunkenly fighting could end terribly.

"Hi," Neji greeted stiffly as he approached the bar.

"Yo Neji," Naruto greeted and Gaara merely gave him a sidelong glance in acknowledgement of his presence, "Kisame, can we get a couple of beers over here?"

"I don't want to have to kick you out again, Naruto," Kisame rolled his eyes, but grinned and slid three beers down along the bar and then taking a swig of vodka straight from the bottle. Naruto's eyes widened.

"You are a drinking _god_," he murmured in awe as Kisame just grinned toothily and put down the bottle to go chat to Itachi. It wasn't a very busy night, so the two of them usually passed the time by having drinking games revolving around their customers.

"Itachi, what are you planning?" Kisame sighed, seeing Itachi surveying the room rather thoughtfully as he stirred his martini, "And would you quit with the girly drinks already; you've been mistaken for a girl like four times tonight."

"It means I get tips," Itachi reminded him and then held out three pieces of paper, "I got three numbers by the way." He scrunched up two of them, and held out the third to his friend, "This one belongs to the blonde over there." He pointed his toothpick in the direction of a rather attractive-yet-muscly blonde male who was eyeing the bar, "He asked for you." Kisame handed the number back.

"I don't do blondes," he snorted, rolling his eyes and replacing the martini with a beer, "And I don't bottom."

"You can tell who tops and who bottoms just from looking at them?" Itachi raised an eyebrow, rather curiously.

"Of course," Kisame replied, seeing Sasuke raise a hand for another round and preparing a new set of drinks for him and Sakura. Itachi took a swig from his beer in amusement.

"So, if I were to say…Naruto and Sasuke, for example; you could tell me –"

"Naruto on bottom," Kisame interrupted, picking up the tray without missing a beat; as though this was the most normal conversation in the world, "He wouldn't be happy about it…but he'd be bottom." Itachi actually uncharacteristically snorted into his beer, making Kisame chortle heartily as he headed off to Sasuke's table.

"What about me?" Itachi raised an eyebrow.

"Bottom," came the instant reply in a tone that implied a laugh being withheld. Itachi snorted again into his beer.

"What brings you to a place like this?" Naruto inquired curiously as Neji sipped tentatively at his beer, "Didn't know you were the kind of guy to drink on a school night."

"I uh, usually don't," Neji admitted with a small cough, "I was just wondering if I could talk to Gaara?" Gaara just gave him a blank look and Naruto laughed heartily, clapping him on the shoulder.

"I'll leave you kids alone then," he smirked, leaping off his chair and heading over to the rather bored bartender, "Itachi, what are we drinking?" Itachi just wordlessly set about mixing up some margaritas for them before Kisame could come back and reprimand him for the girly drink.

"…It's not like that, I promise…" Neji flushed slightly, "I um…"

"Let me guess; this is about Temari?" Gaara inquired in his flat, even tone, "And how she's recently become obsessed with you?"

"Yes," he answered simply, taking another sip, "I…I don't know what to do." Gaara deadpanned and just stared at him, wondering how on earth he managed to be so unspecific about what he wanted to talk about.

"…About what?" he asked irritably, once it became apparent that Neji was not going to elaborate. Neji licked his lips and took a bigger scull of his drink.

"…About her," he tried to answer, to which Gaara just downed his drink and reached over the bar for another beer. "…I uh, don't uh…" It was so unlike him to have trouble forming sentences, dammit!

"…Don't know how to talk to women?" Gaara failed to keep the amusement out of his voice; especially when Neji glared and avoided looking at him, "It's relatively obvious, Hyuga. The only female anyone ever sees you with is your cousin. It's no wonder you lack social skills." Neji turned to glare at him again. How dare he say he lacked social skills! Just because he'd never had any interest in women –and women had kept their distance…

"I've never been interested enough," he sniffed.

"And you're interested in my sister?" Gaara inquired in a deadly tone.

"That's not what I meant," Neji snapped, "I just…girls usually stay away."

"Maybe because you look like a snob," Gaara muttered, rolling his eyes. Neji began to protest this crossly, but was silenced by a single dark-ringed glare from the redhead, "Seriously. You have got some stick shoved up your ass and everyone knows it. That's why no one comes near you."

That was probably the longest sentence Neji had ever heard Gaara speak in his life, and he had to admit that maybe he had a point. He sighed heavily, and took a look at his beer, sculling the remainder of it. Gaara instantly pushed another beer in his direction.

"…Every drink you finish; I'll tell you something about my sister," he offered with a sigh, as though this was a major chore, "That way, you can at least have a conversation with her and not run off to the bathrooms." Neji looked at the beer he was offered as though it were a trap.

"You need to lighten up," Gaara rolled his eyes again.

"…And I suppose you'd know all about lightening up?" Neji remarked sarcastically, and Gaara gave him one of his patented ever-present sulky glares.

"…Get some drinks in you, Hyuga," Gaara snorted.

Kisame watched in amusement throughout the night as the ever-proper Hyuga was slowly drinking the redhead under the table, and Sasuke seemed to be drinking a lot heavier than normal.

"Itachi, enough with the free drinks for Naruto," Kisame laughed, snatching the bottle of vodka off his friend as he was about to pour another shot for the two of them, "…Unless I can join."

"Go ahead," Naruto smirked, "I can drink _both_ of you under the table."

"I'll take that bet," Kisame grinned, "No need to get cocky, blondie."

"Bring it!" he retorted, slamming his glass down on the bar.

"Hold on," Itachi sighed, seeing Sasuke signalling again, and feeling that it was about time to put his next plan into action, "I've got this. Pour for me." While Kisame wasn't watching, he sneakily poured two tequila shots; one for Sasuke and one for Sakura. One was the Love in Idleness. Feeling inwardly gleeful, he took them over to the couples' table and set them down; the Love in Idleness in front of Sasuke. Sasuke was about to protest, but Sakura immediately downed her shot; her cheeks looking quite flushed. Itachi just inclined his head in acknowledgement and headed back to the bar.

It was perhaps to his dismay or great amusement that from his vantage point, he spied Sasuke pushing the tequila across the table to Sakura, who downed it as well. Sasuke just averted his eye contact moodily.

"Oh, this could be _very_ interesting," Itachi remarked quietly to himself, and spied Gaara taking a shot of tequila while Neji struggled with what looked like his seventh beer. He frowned and looked at the empty bottle of tequila. Was Gaara drinking…He looked over at Kisame, who looked as innocent as a shark-man could possibly look, and started absent-mindedly polishing an empty glass.

"What are you up to, Kisame?" Itachi inquired suspiciously, clearing Neji and Gaara's empty bottles away from the pair.

"Nothing, Itachi," Kisame replied angelically.

"Hey guys, did you know anything about the rumour that there's a magic drink around?" Naruto inquired suddenly, his words slurring slightly, "Because I heard something from someone…that it can *hic* make you fall in *hic* love…" Neji appeared to have not heard this, but Gaara did, and looked over at Itachi and Kisame for their response; to catch Itachi looking at him and then glaring at Kisame. With trepidation, he looked into the empty shot glass and sniffed it. Did it smell different from normal tequila? Maybe it did…he'd had too much to drink already…

After a few seconds, Naruto appeared to have forgotten that he'd asked a question, because he was babbling away about something ridiculous. Sasuke, across the room, looked like he was partway through a headache, and went up to the bar.

"Water, Itachi," he remarked, finding his throat slightly parched, "And can you call a taxi for Sakura? She's drunk and annoying me…"

"A taxi sounds like a great idea," Naruto interjected brightly, "I think I have an early start tomorrow, and Kisame's not giving me free drinks…"

"Idiot, you should be paying anyway," Sasuke snapped irritably, "Water." Itachi gave his brother a slightly sympathetic smile and handed him some water, dialling up a cab for Sakura, who had apparently gotten very drunk very fast, and was practically lopsided in her chair.

Neji was sitting relatively upright, as composed as he usually was; an eyebrow raised at Gaara, who was slumped on the bar.

"…You…handle your drinks good," Gaara remarked in a slurred tone. Neji rolled his eyes and put down his most recent drink. Gaara sighed, "Just don't run away from her. Engage in conversation; make small talk until you find common ground…" That was when he sat up and nearly toppled backwards off his stool. Neji caught him with one hand and looked over at the redhead.

"…Okay, it's time for you to go home," he admitted finally, checking his watch and discovering that it was past one. Well, he'd had an informative time with Gaara, and he supposed it had been a little fun. "Good night, Itachi." Itachi merely waved a hand and started the process of getting Sakura standing vertical as Sasuke sipped at a glass of water at the bar.

It took Neji far longer than he thought to get Gaara home, despite how coherently the redhead was able to convey messages. Unfortunately the messages he conveyed tended to not be the correct direction of where he lived, so they ended up wandering around for a good forty minutes before they both arrived at Gaara's dorm room. Gaara immediately fell on his face on the bed. Neji yawned loudly and then heard Gaara mumble something.

"Excuse me?"

"You can stay," he repeated, removing his mouth from the pillow for a moment, gesturing over at the spare bed in his room, "…Roommate moved out and Kankuro sometimes stays over." Without waiting for an answer, Gaara removed his shirt and crawled under his blankets. "…Turn off the light…"

Neji wordlessly did as he asked, and with a sigh, took off his own shirt and got into the spare bed, his head spinning a little as he lay down and closed his eyes in the foreign darkness.

* * *

**Scheming Itachi is the best! Shikamaru; king of the school! I like the two of them as friends!**


	7. Chapter 7

Sakura heard an alarm clock go off and she twisted and rolled over to the side that her alarm was usually on. It wasn't there. Weird. She rolled back over again, and this time rolled too far, falling out of bed with an almighty thud. She groaned from the floor and squirmed a little, trying to get out of the sheets that had trapped her.

"Sakura, are you okay?" came the familiar voice of Naruto from somewhere above her. She stopped wiggling and opened her eyes slowly, the light of the morning hurting her poor, hung over retinas. Standing over her was the Naruto she knew, but for some reason, this morning, he looked different.

He was shirtless, and was apparently halfway through waking up, since his pants were hanging low on his hips. She stared up at his tanned, toned chest, and only just managed to wrench her gaze to his face.

Had he always been so beautiful?

She swore for a second, her heart stopped.

His eyes were a clear, cerulean blue; how had she never noticed before? His eyes were filled with concern, and that made her just recently restarted heart skip a beat.

"Morning," he grinned, seeing that she was fine and just hung over. He helped her to her feet, and was surprised when she wrapped her arms around his bare chest affectionately. "…Whoa, glad to see you aren't mad that I brought you back here last night…my place was closer…"

"It's fine, Naruto," she assured him, in an uncharacteristically kind voice. She'd always been too harsh on him, she now realised. He just had her best interests at heart.

"Sasuke's left two voicemails," Naruto informed her, holding up her phone, "It woke me up this morning; I didn't answer though…" Sakura's expression soured slightly at the sound of her boyfriend's name.

"Oh, Sasuke," she sniffed, "He just left me to be dragged home did he?"

"…I think he had some things to sort out with his brother," Naruto shrugged, "You want some breakfast before class?"

"I might go have a shower," she admitted, blushing a little when she realised they were still hugging. He immediately went to the cupboard and pulled out a towel.

"Showers are three doors down on the right," he informed her with one of his brilliant, gorgeous smiles, "I'll make some breakfast…if you want?" She nodded quietly, and graced him with a small smile. "Meet you in the common room." He turned and headed for the door, and she couldn't help but run her eyes along his fine body.

What was she thinking? She walked to the showers, rather confused. This was _Naruto_. Why was she thinking these things about him? She was with Sasuke; the love of her life. That meant that she shouldn't be suddenly thinking Naruto was gorgeous and nice, with a smile that made her melt…

Sasuke didn't smile at her like that. Well, Sasuke didn't smile, period. She suddenly found herself looking forward to breakfast. Sasuke never offered her breakfast; he wasn't really a morning person. After her shower, she changed into some spare clothes that Naruto had put out for her, and joined him in the common room to the smell of scrambled eggs. He gave her another of those magnificent grins and she felt her heart flutter slightly.

What was going on with her?

* * *

Gaara was wondering much the same thing about himself. He had woken to a particularly unfortunate headache, to find that Neji was asleep in the spare bed; well, he should really say sleeping _on_ the spare bed, because virtually none of the blankets were covering the elder boy save for a foot.

Neji was shirtless, and he'd untied his long brown hair and it was sprawled across his shoulders, one arm up under the pillow and the other laid casually across his unbelievably toned abs. His jeans were low on his lithe hipbones and Gaara felt his cheeks reddening as he checked out the sleeping Hyuga.

He'd known he was gay for a while, but he'd never really been in a relationship. People didn't inquire as to his sexual orientation, and he didn't advertise it. He'd seen the Hyuga around quite a bit, seeing as he was kind of friends with his friends, but always thought that he had been a little too, well…_girly_ for his taste.

But lying there; Neji looked the image of perfection. Gaara's eyes ran over his rock solid body and drank in the strength that he seemed to possess. Feeling his pants grow a little tight at the thought of touching that body, he rolled over and pretended to go back to sleep. Maybe Neji would sneak out without saying anything?

"…Hey, last night was…fun…" Neji murmured a few minutes later, once he had woken up, knowing that Gaara was awake, "…Thanks for the advice. We should hang out again some time." Gaara made an affirmative noise and rolled over onto his face to go back to sleep, because he knew that Neji was putting his shirt on. As soon as he heard the door shut, and Neji taking off down the hallway, he rolled back over and gripped his crotch over his pants, the pressure feeling so good. He was burning that image of Neji shirtless into his mind.

* * *

Shikamaru sighed as he and Itachi sat atop a picnic table on the university lawns, observing their surroundings. Gaara, Neji and Temari were sitting over at a table beside the water fountain; Temari sitting beside Neji, who had tensed slightly, and Gaara across the table, sort of acting like a bored chaperone; obviously there at Neji's request. When had the two of them become friends?

"Time sure moves fast, right Itachi?" he remarked, looking up at the clouds and ignoring the ache in his chest at seeing Temari looking at another man like she had once looked at him. "Finals are going to come up soon."

"It's so unlike you to comment on finals; King of the Fairies," Itachi remarked, "Maybe losing your girlfriend has made you redirect your focus?"

"I thought you were fixing that?" Shikamaru sighed.

"You know, you could always try and win her back fair and square?" the Uchiha suggested. "Sasuke's actually making an effort with Sakura now that she's started hanging out with Naruto a bit more."

"Doesn't he find it unusual?" Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, "The amount of time she's spending with him?"

"He's too busy being over the moon about it, since he's so in love with her," Itachi mused, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. In the last week and a half, a lot had changed, apparently. Gaara and Neji had become friends practically overnight; Neji had decided to _not_ run off every time Temari approached him; Sakura and Sasuke were often accompanied by Naruto at Sakura's request…but the biggest change of all was Hidan and Deidara.

At the moment, the two of them were arguing beside the water fountain. Hidan had given Deidara a ride to class, it seemed, and he'd spilt something on the seat.

"Hidan, I already told you I'd pay for it, un," Deidara snapped crossly. Why was Hidan being like this? Sometimes he was nice; like this morning he asked him if he wanted to come watch his band play that afternoon, and now he was yelling at him, "Jeez, if you're going to be like this then I won't come to your bloody band practice!" Hidan looked sheepish for a moment and kicked at a stone moodily; finding it strange that he was a little hurt. Deidara seemed to notice the flash of hurt cross his face and immediately felt bad.

"…Sorry…" he muttered, moving to lay a hand on Hidan's arm. Unfortunately, Hidan stepped back, misinterpreting the apology for flirting, and hit the edge of the fountain, stumbling and falling straight into the water.

The resulting splash was tremendous, and Hidan emerged, spluttering and kicking and swearing. His gaze settled on Deidara, who couldn't help but snicker and then burst out laughing.

"Oh blondie, you are so fucking dead," Hidan snarled, lunging forward and capturing Deidara around the chest, dragging him screaming into the fountain with him. Neji, Gaara and Temari all observed for a moment before ignoring the pair.

Deidara finally managed to scrabble from Hidan's grip and got to his feet, his hair completely drenched and hanging in dregs around his face. His white shirt had gone see through and his baggy pants were dangerously waterlogged to the stage where they were almost falling down. Hidan couldn't help but laugh at Deidara's incredibly unimpressed expression, not failing to notice that the blonde's nipples were standing erect from the cold.

"I'm going to kill you, un," Deidara growled, tackling Hidan out of the fountain and onto the grass. They tumbled over each other as a soggy, dripping mess until finally they stopped wrestling, Deidara successfully having straddled Hidan's hips and pinned his arms out to either side of him. They were both panting.

At about the same time, they both realised the situation they were in. Deidara was sitting back on his haunches slightly, pressing almost directly against Hidan's crotch, and his blonde hair was hanging over the other male's face.

"Um…I'll meet you at Sampson block later, un," Deidara remarked awkwardly, and got to his feet; without even realising that in doing so he had subconsciously ground his ass even more against Hidan's cock. Hidan just ran a hand through his hair to slick it back against his head again. "…And I totally just beat you, un." The blonde immediately scarpered before he had to face the consequences of claiming something so bold, leaving Hidan to gather himself up and disguise his semi-hard cock as best he could.

Neji had managed to focus on his study throughout Deidara and Hidan's ridiculous fight, but that was before he felt something on his leg. Sliding his eyes down, he flushed slightly, but managed to maintain his composure when he realised that it was Temari's hand, and her fingers were sliding towards his inner thigh. Without even quitting his writing, he used his left hand to remove hers and return it to her own lap.

Before he could do anything, she had taken full advantage of the situation and yanked his hand so that his fingers rested between her thighs, rubbing right up against her womanhood. Neji recoiled slightly from the shock and subtly but forcefully drew his hand back. Temari just smiled at him and acted as though nothing had happened.

Shikamaru had seen the display and rolled his eyes. Temari always had been one to take what she wanted; her bossiness was one of her best and worst features. Gaara looked up from his book slightly to see Neji with a distinct crease in his forehead.

"Neji, want to come play Xbox?" he inquired, deciding to save the brunette this once; ignoring the pit forming in his stomach at the knowledge of how he had just touched his sister –he knew Temari's ways. Neji nodded once shortly, and bid goodbye to Temari; the two males walking off to Gaara's dorm in stoic silence.

"Is your sister always so forward?" Neji inquired after they had walked for a little moment, finding it relatively strange that he hadn't reacted in any way other that disgust when Temari had touched him and forced him to touch her. Maybe it was just because she'd caught him by surprise?

"Usually," was Gaara's only response.

"I really thought Dei was going to kill Hidan this time, for sure!" Naruto was laughing heartily as he walked with Sakura and Sasuke past the fountain, "But Itachi's plan seems to be working…"

"Idiot," Sasuke muttered, earning a reprimanding scowl from Sakura.

"Sasuke, you really should stop being so mean to Naruto; he's never anything but good to you," she snapped crossly, spinning to face him. Sasuke looked both annoyed and surprised by her comment.

"Sakura, it's okay, really; I'm used to him," Naruto remarked awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head.

"You shouldn't have to deal with him being so nasty to you all the time," she snorted, glaring at her boyfriend, "Sasuke, you could learn a few things about people from Naruto, you know?"

"Hn," Sasuke responded, pushing his hands into his pockets and beginning to walk off. Naruto and Sakura just watched him go with confused looks.

"Naruto, wanna go get some lunch?" Sakura inquired, "I'll pay?" She was visibly disappointed with Naruto shook his head.

"Sorry, but I'm going to make sure the bastard's okay," he decided, running to catch off with Sasuke, leaving Sakura standing there at the fountain alone and feeling rather jealous that Naruto had wanted to go after Sasuke than be with her. It was that jealousy that led to her moment of clarity. She didn't love Sasuke anymore; she didn't want the moody darkness; she wanted the light that loved everyone; someone who would show concern and affection for her. She wanted Naruto.

"Hey, bastard," Naruto called out to Sasuke, who didn't even bother turning.

"What? Not hanging out with my girlfriend?" he inquired with a trace of bitterness.

"Of course not," he grinned, "Want to go to the arcade?" Sasuke stopped walking and looking surprised. "You have to; you bailed on me last time." Something about the raven's face was different. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong is that my girlfriend won't stop talking about how great you are," he snorted, "Comparing everything I do to _you_."

"I can't help that I'm so great," Naruto smirked.

"Idiot."

"Don't worry, Sasuke; Sakura still loves you, you know?"

"Hn."

"So you're coming to the arcade?"

"…Fine."

"Well, you can't say things aren't getting amusing," Itachi commented to Shikamaru, who simply rolled his eyes and continued staring up at the clouds. "Oh fret not, Shikamaru. Trust me; I have everything under control."

"I think it's probably a mistake to trust an Uchiha," Kisame joked, coming up behind the picnic table and joining them. Shikamaru made a noise of agreement while Itachi chuckled in a low tone. "Anyway, Itachi, where are these rumours circulating about a magical drink that can make someone fall in love with you? I've heard probably twenty kids talking about it today."

"Wouldn't have a clue," Itachi remarked innocently. Kisame just snorted, not believing a word of it. He wouldn't have been particularly surprised if it had been Itachi starting the rumours himself. That man was trouble.

* * *

**Kisame knows what's what. Oh, things are getting messier by the chapter! :O **

**xx K**


	8. Chapter 8

**...It's gonna get a wee bit hotter up in here this chapter... no lemon...but it's in the cards ;) **

* * *

The gang had decided that it was about time they all went clubbing together. It had been a while since they'd all been free, and stress of assignments was starting to mount. It _may_have been Itachi's idea; not that he'd ever admit it, but no matter who had suggested it, everyone was open to a little fun on the town.

"I made tea," Itachi remarked as Sasuke entered the room in a navy dress shirt with several of the top buttons undone and black skinny jeans, "Oh, I didn't realise you were moonlighting as a prostitute…" Sasuke just glared at his elder brother and took a cup of tea from the table.

"Like you can talk, big brother," he sneered back, "You look like a gay photographer." Itachi ignored his brother's jibes and checked his watch. Kisame was picking them up from the Uchiha manor anytime now.

"Now boys; you both behave yourselves!" Mikoto Uchiha; their doting mother; reminded them as she entered the kitchen. "Itachi, don't you let my little Sasuke get into trouble!"

"Mother, I'm twenty years old, don't treat me like a child," Sasuke retorted irritably. Instantly, Mikoto glared at him sternly and he averted his gaze; a Sasuke version of a pout. She instantly began fussing over him; preening his hair and dusting off his pants. "Mum…"

"Oh stop whining, Sasuke," she shushed him, "Oh don't you just look lovely? When's Naruto coming over again? Your father and I liked that boy; he was good for you." Sasuke just scowled and folded his arms defensively, causing his mother to sigh in aggravation. "Fine, just close up then. Itachi, you have fun; and make sure you ask Kisame over for dinner tomorrow night."

"Yes mother," Itachi assured her.

"Splendid! Oh Sasuke, you should invite Naruto too!" Mikoto exclaimed, suddenly very excited by this prospect.

"Hn," Sasuke responded.

"No, Sasuke Uchiha, you will _not_ 'hn' your own mother," she growled crossly, putting her hands on her hips, "We never see enough of your friends around here. I might just have to call Kushina and ask her because you're too stubborn…"

"Fine, mum I'll do it," Sasuke muttered, just to get her off his back about it. Mikoto smiled again and went to fetch the doorbell.

"Oh hello, Kisame!" she exclaimed in delight upon opening the door to find Kisame standing there in a black singlet with a white dress shirt over it; the buttons all undone, "You do scrub up nicely, don't you!"

"Mother," Itachi sighed, pushing his other aside, "Ignore her, Kisame; Sasuke, we're going!"

"We should have a dinner party some time," Mikoto remarked dreamily, "Kisame, I bet you'd look dashing in a suit, right, Itachi?"

"Goodbye mother," Itachi rolled his eyes as Sasuke joined them, Kisame laughing and bidding Mikoto a fond farewell for the night, promising to return her darling boys in one piece. Itachi was one of the sober drivers tonight though; he didn't mind not drinking, whereas Kisame enjoyed getting drunk.

Upon entering the club they had decided to meet at, Itachi immediately headed to a booth while Kisame headed to the bar with Sasuke. Sakura, Ino, Kiba and Hinata were already out on the dance floor, with Neji hovering at the bar; making sure that Kiba's hands were remaining in a neutral position. Lee, another of the sober drivers, was busting a move; making up for lack of talent with enthusiasm.

Deidara was dancing up a storm near the girls, wearing a tight black shirt and tight navy jeans, flicking his hair back in forth in mockery of Ino; who had clearly noticed that she was being mocked by her cousin. Naruto saved the situation by diving in and grabbing Ino for a dance, handing her a drink in the process. Shikamaru and Gaara were having silent drinks up at the bar.

"Yo, Itachi," Suigetsu hollered, slinging himself down in the booth and making himself as small as possible as Kisame took the seat beside Itachi.

"Hiding from Karin?"

"You know it." Kisame placed a soda in front of Itachi and smirked at Suigetsu's distressed face.

"I could've told you that girl was trouble," he informed him.

"You should've said something," he groaned, "I swear, she follows me _everywhere_ now…I've got hickeys on my hickeys! And they weren't even consensual!" Kisame just chortled loudly at that.

"You want anything to eat?" he inquired of Itachi, who just shrugged, hoping that Kisame interpreted that as a 'yes'. Of course, Kisame knew Itachi language better than most, and was off to the bar again to get some fries to entertain the Uchiha.

Sakura was having a dance with Deidara, but was glaring daggers at Ino over his shoulder. She was dancing with Naruto! Why did Fate have to be so cruel to her? Sure, Deidara was hot, but Naruto…

"Deidara, may I please borrow Sakura for a dance?" Lee inquired in his usual, obnoxiously loud voice. Deidara relinquished his hold on her hips; absolutely ignoring her pleading looks for him to take her back and not leave her to suffer with Lee. He just grinned, and kept on dancing, scanning the room for anyone else that he knew. Girls all around him were checking him out, he knew; he'd worked hard at looking especially sexy tonight; he'd been called 'adorable' by Konan, one of the members of Hidan's band a few days ago and his ego hadn't quite recovered from it.

And then he saw Hidan, standing at the bar. He was wearing a black dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up; half the top buttons undone, with grey jeans. He was leaning casually on the bar and was talking to the bartender, who Deidara vaguely recalled as Kakuzu; a senior he'd seen around campus.

Hidan was laughing, and as he ran a hand through his platinum hair to smooth it back again, Deidara automatically found himself licking his lips. His eyes followed the elegant V of the shirt collar down Hidan's chest and couldn't help but settle at his crotch.

"What you looking at, blondie?" Kiba teased, catching Deidara's wandering gaze.

"Nothing," Deidara retorted; probably a little too quickly, and averted his eyes.

Kakuzu chucked to himself behind his scarf and Hidan instantly became suspicious.

"And what might be so funny, Kakuzu?" he growled accusingly.

"…You've got an admirer," Kakuzu remarked, "Blonde, one o'clock." Hidan looked in the direction Kakuzu had indicated, and spied Deidara dancing over there with their friends. He just scoffed and finished his drink.

"Not into women anymore, Hidan?" he inquired with a smirk, immune to the glare Hidan gifted him with.

"Shut up and buy me a drink," he growled in response. Kakuzu, content with this as an answer for the meantime, reminded Hidan that he would under no circumstances be getting free drinks from him. Usually Hidan would try haggle over prices or make deals or bets, but tonight, he just watched Deidara dancing. The blonde's slight, lithe body moved perfectly in time to the music, and the facial expressions he was making were going straight to Hidan's crotch.

Sasuke was hiding from Sakura in one of the booths, drinking by himself moodily, when he happened to catch his brother's voice from the booth on the other side of him.

"Itachi, you didn't…" Kisame was saying.

"And what if I did?" Itachi replied innocently.

"You shouldn't be messing around with that sort of thing," he remarked reproachfully.

"I just spiked Sasuke's drink with the Love in Idleness," Itachi shrugged, "It's no big deal…"

"Trying to get him to fall in love?" Kisame deadpanned, "Itachi; your own brother?"

"…It's no big deal," Itachi smirked, "I mean, it just means he's going to fall in love with the next person he kisses. That'll probably be Sakura, right; so there's no harm done. He's not treating her right."

Sasuke sank down in his seat angrily. So the rumours were true about a magical love drink? Itachi had it? And he had the nerve to use it on _him_! God…falling in love with Sakura…Sure, they'd been together for over a year, but he wasn't…_in love_ with her; at least not yet…

"Oi, bastard, come dance!" Naruto's voice suddenly snapped him out of his mutinous thoughts and he was forced onto the dance floor before he could protest. He was surrounded by a swirling mass of bodies before he knew what was happening, and Naruto was pushing him to dance.

"I'm going to kill you for this," Sasuke snarled, but even though Naruto heard him, he flat out ignored him; laughed and just spun around, dancing.

"You guys should totally come dance," Kiba exclaimed as he and Hinata went over to Neji and Gaara for a bit of a breather, "It's wild out there."

"I don't dance," Neji scowled stoically, folding his arms.

"I d-dare you," Hinata giggled, looking up at her cousin cheekily. His mouth fell open that she would be so bold, "Come on Neji! Come dance! Gaara will come dance with us, right?" Gaara looked at the Hyuga heir and then at Kiba, whose eyes were pleading to come and join. Since Hinata wanted Neji to come dance, it therefore meant that Kiba had to do anything in his power to make Neji come dance; so that Hinata would be happy.

Gaara simply shrugged his consent, and he and Neji were then dragged onto the dance floor by a suddenly bold Hinata. Since he was a little drunk already, he found it relatively easy to get into the rhythm of the music, swaying his hips and joining in with the girls and their excitement.

He watched Neji from the corner of the eye, noting that he looked incredibly tense and out of place.

"Loosen up," Gaara muttered to him in his ear, his breath grazing Neji's ear he was that close. He boldly grabbed Neji's hips and twisted them a little, "Just move your hips…" Neji couldn't stop his breath from hitching as he felt Gaara's breath on his ear and his red hair brushing against his cheek. Gaara's hands were on his hips, teasing him to dance. They were completely platonic; nothing like Temari's touch, yet something about it sent a surge of arousal straight to Neji's crotch. Trying to think of a way to keep Gaara this close, he began to move his body in the way the redhead indicated, feeling silly.

Why did he want to keep him close?

A sudden shove from someone behind him sent his body crashing into Gaara; their bodies pressing together and rubbing deliciously as the redhead steadied him; arms around his back. As Neji turned to glare at the offender, Gaara just laughed it off –genuinely laughed, making him turned and continue dancing; ignoring how much he wanted to press his body against Neji's over and over. It was hard though; watching as Neji gradually relaxed and the alcohol began to kick in; his body loosening up and becoming sexily sweaty.

Temari suddenly appeared from nowhere and wrapped her arms around Neji's neck, grinding hard against his crotch and placing his hands upon her ass to keep her close. He'd never had a hard-on fade so fast. She stayed clinging to him for a couple of songs, obviously not sensing his disinterest.

Gaara, however, was fuming that his sister had to go and interfere, so when Neji looked over her shoulder at him in a kind of 'save me' fashion, he physically removed his sister and spun her over to Deidara; taking her place in front of Neji. Temari just looked over her shoulder jealously, then appeared contented drunkenly dancing with Deidara.

A bit later, Sasuke had resigned himself to his dancing fate; to which all the girls in the immediate vicinity began swooning and pushing to dance with him.

The jostling suddenly got a little bit more violent, and Sasuke found himself being pushed back towards the booths by a crowd of drunken girls. Naruto was dragged along with the crowd, and all of a sudden, he found himself pressed against the beam separating the booth that Itachi and Kisame were sitting in; with Sasuke's lips pressed up against his.

Sasuke wrenched away automatically, not giving Naruto time to react. They'd been accidentally pushed into the kiss by the crowd of girls! It didn't count! He immediately escaped to the bathrooms; much to the utmost amusement of Itachi. Naruto just remained there blankly for a moment, unable to process what had just happened, then found himself being dragged back to the dance floor.

"Naruto seems to have taken that well," Kisame noted curiously.

"Indeed," Itachi remarked with a sly smile. Kisame just rolled his eyes, scoffed, and added, "Stop scheming and eat your fucking chips Itachi."

Sakura couldn't believe what she had just seen! Sasuke, kissing _her_ Naruto! First Ino dances with him, then her boyfriend kisses…

Oh, that was right…Sasuke was still her boyfriend. She had a boyfriend…and she was falling in love with his best friend. God. Instead of confronting Sasuke about it, or focusing on Naruto, she just kept right on dancing.

Hidan had finished his…he didn't know how many drinks he had finished…all he knew was that he was sick of watching blondie out on the dance floor with all those sluts. His hands all over them, and their hands all over him…The raven that he was currently dancing with was bold enough to slink a hand down and cup him through his jeans, and that was when jealousy in Hidan reared its ugly head.

"Shot of _anything_," he ordered, slamming down a handful of money onto the counter. Kakuzu smirked and obliged, taking the money, "Keep the change." Hidan downed the shot easily and stalked across the dance floor.

"Beat it, before I fucking break your face," Hidan snarled into the ear of the raven-haired girl, who fled for her life instantly. Deidara looked around in surprise to see that Hidan was now a part of their dancing group, and that the girl he was dancing with a second ago was nowhere to be seen.

He was just about to seek out another girl to dance with, but realised that that would probably just be mean, since Hidan did like him, after all…maybe…maybe he should humour him a little for tonight and have a dance? It couldn't hurt…and _damn_ Hidan _was_ looking fine.

Having made up his mind, he danced a little closer until the two of them were chest to chest. He could feel the warmth of Hidan's body radiating towards him, and he wanted to be closer. On impulse, he reached out and took his hands, leading them to his hips; he could always claim drunken immunity later on.

Hidan was a little surprised by Deidara's bold move; it must've taken a lot for him to have done something like that. Feeling bad for the guy, and a little pleased that it was _him_dancing with him and not some slut, he decided to humour him, and pulled him a bit closer.

Their hips connected with delicious friction, and Deidara couldn't help but close his eyes and enjoy the feeling of the bigger man's body against his. His hands rose to Hidan's chest and slowly spread out across it, feeling his nipples grow hard at his touch. Feeling cocky, Deidara rose up onto tiptoes for a moment, his cheek grazing Hidan's.

The deliberate height change caused Hidan's hands to slip lower down Deidara's body, to rest quite comfortably on his ass. He was surprised at how okay he seemed with his hands planted quite firmly on another man's ass, especially when Deidara made no move to remove them. He gripped a little tighter and pulled him closer, subtly grinding so slightly that it could've been an accident. He heard the little gasp that the blonde let out.

"Twenty bucks says Deidara runs off with a boner," Suigetsu bet Kisame from the booth, watching as the two of them got gradually closer and ground into each other a bit heavier.

"Not a chance; definitely Hidan first," Kisame snorted, taking a swig and smirking in amusement. The pair got a little lower so that Hidan's leg was pressed against Deidara's crotch and the blonde was apparently enjoying grinding against it; his hands on top of Hidan's hands –forcing him to pull him closer. The two of them were breathing heavily, and Deidara was kneading the back of Hidan's hands needily, pushing himself harder against the bigger man.

All of a sudden, Kiba was pushed backwards away from Hinata; shoving Hidan sideways and dislodging Deidara. Immediately, the two of them seemed to come to their senses and both made their separate ways to the bathroom, avoiding eye contact.

"Both?" Kisame and Suigetsu remarked, and then looked at each other, "Itachi's buying," they agreed. Itachi just sighed heavily and pulled out his wallet, despite having never been part of the bet.

Deidara was breathing heavily and was nursing a rather painful erection that was thankfully hidden by how tight his pants were. God; what was he even thinking? Dancing with Hidan?_Grinding_ against Hidan; hell, _liking_ grinding against him! He'd facilitated everything; and _enjoyed_ it. Fuck, the two of them had practically been dry humping on the dance floor!

As he finally reached the bathroom, he pushed open the door, only to come face to face with Hidan himself, who was sweating and looking undeniably sexy.

_Sexy_? Dammit.

For once, Hidan seemed lost for words. He just avoided eye contact and made to move around him; unfortunately moving in the same direction as Deidara. Again, they tried to sidestep and awkwardly collided. On the third time, Hidan went to stoop at the same time Deidara tried to speak to him, and their lips accidentally met.

The two of them were frozen in a lip-lock for a few quiet moments until Deidara tried to speak. Unfortunately, since his lips were still pressed against Hidan's, it just resulted in him kissing the bigger man.

Hidan didn't recoil. He told himself that he was being a nice dude; he was just trying to prove his friends wrong; but that didn't explain why he wrapped his arms around the smaller man and kissed him back. A hand reached up behind his neck and clutched tightly as Deidara's mouth pressed back against his, lips moving hungrily against one another in ravishing, open-mouthed kisses. Hidan's tongue snaked into his mouth, rubbing up against Deidara's; tasting him. The blonde moaned into the kiss a little as the kiss was deepened and he was bodily pushed up against the wall; their bodies connecting again, reigniting their arousal. Hidan's hips moved off their own accord, pushing up against Deidara's, and again, another breathy moan escaped the blonde as he raked a hand down Hidan's back.

The sound of the door opening immediately caused them to leap apart as if burnt, and wordlessly, Hidan spun and left the bathroom, leaving Deidara standing there, leaning against the wall; incredibly confused and turned on.

* * *

**1. "Shut up and eat your fucking chips, Itachi" -I love how Kisame gives zero fucks.  
2. HidaDei xD  
3. Poor Sasuke! What's he to think? Naughty Itachi... messing with people!**

**Leave a review? Maybe? :D**

**xx K **


	9. Chapter 9

**Two chapters to go; hope you're enjoying it so far! Hope you're not too mad for my re-uploading! :D**

* * *

Sasuke was never going to forgive Itachi. He was never going to forgive his mother. It was all their fault. Itachi spiking his drink; his mother forcing him to invite Naruto over for dinner…This was torment.

Something felt different. Maybe it was that magic drink working? Maybe…but something felt different as he sat across the dinner table from Naruto as he and his mother made idle chatter and Kisame guffawed along with them. Itachi and Fugaku Uchiha sat in their regular silence, observing what was happening at the table; ignoring Sasuke's anger –if they were aware of it.

Of course Itachi was aware of it.

Since the kiss last night…Sasuke had felt…different. He'd _felt_, full stop.

There had been something different; something _electric_ about the way their lips had connected that night before at the club. In truth, it had taken all Sasuke had to wrench away and not add to the kiss. It was unlike anything he'd ever experienced kissing Sakura.

And now the idiot was sitting across from him, smiling that stupid, infectious smile that Sasuke both hated and enjoyed; and those eyes; those sparkling, blue eyes that always looked so hurt whenever he saw Sasuke and Sakura together. Right now, just joking around and enjoying Mikoto's cooking; wearing a casual dress shirt for the occasion…he almost looked cute.

No. What was he thinking? He had to quit this right now. He did _not_ think that Naruto; his best friend; his _male_ best friend, was _cute_. He had a girlfriend; a beautiful girlfriend, who didn't even compare to Naruto.

Wait; that wasn't right.

Sure, Naruto was the friend that had always been there for him since forever. Sure, they fought almost every day, but when it came down to it, Naruto would do anything for him. He knew what was going on in Sasuke's head almost better than Sasuke himself knew it sometimes. He could remember times when they could just sit in companionable silence and not need to say a word.

He hung his head a little, picking at his meal. He'd been bad to Naruto in the last year or so; blowing him off to be with Sakura, who in truth he wasn't so crazy about. His parents had just been putting pressure on him to get into a relationship and well…she'd always been around. Maybe he'd taken advantage of the fact that he knew the blonde would always be there.

"Sasuke, stop moping and eat your dinner," Mikoto scolded.

"I'm not moping," Sasuke grumbled.

"Yeah, he's just thinking," Naruto laughed.

" –Something you don't often do."

"Be nice," Mikoto scolded crossly, "Naruto is our guest!" Naruto stuck his tongue out across the table and then apologised for his rudeness, "No need to apologise, Naruto dear; Sasuke needs someone around who stands up to him." Kisame had quit the joking around to engage in a conversation with Fugaku and how his business was running. Sasuke raised an eyebrow as he saw for the thousandth time that Kisame and his father got along swimmingly (excusing the shark pun).

Despite what his mother had said, Sasuke continued to pick at his dinner. Itachi had spiked his drink to make him fall in love with the next person he kissed…and that person happened to be Naruto.

Did that mean he was going to fall in love with Naruto?

As that very thought crossed his mind, Naruto happened to look up over the dinner table and smile softly at him. That smile; for some reason made his heart leap, and he couldn't help but smile back. Naruto and Mikoto looked horrified.

"Fugaku, look! Sasuke's smiling!' Mikoto exclaimed, hand to her mouth in shock. Instantly, the mask was back as the rest of the table glanced at him, but the damage was done. Sasuke looked at Itachi to see if he'd noticed. A small smirk indicated that he indeed had.

_Shit._

The more he thought about it, the more at home Naruto looked sitting at the Uchiha table. He lit everything up; everything about him was bright and boisterous; an attribute Sasuke both hated and adored at the same time. He rested his head on his hand and observed his friend.

He did, after all, know practically everything about Sasuke; his likes, dislikes, routines, secrets, fears (not that he would admit to having any)…and no matter how much of a jackass he was being; Naruto would stay his same, cheerful self.

Maybe it wouldn't be quite so bad falling in love with him?

* * *

It was Thursday, and everyone was getting really excited because the Uchiha family was throwing a fancy impromptu fundraiser for the university; organised by Mikoto of course. Well, it seemed to Deidara that everyone was getting excited except for him.

He was sitting moodily in his room with his sketchbook in front of him; brimming with frustration. He started doodling as he thought.

All week, it seemed that Hidan had been avoiding him. Did he think that maybe he would be rejected? In all honesty, Deidara didn't know what to do. His body obviously liked Hidan;_really_ liked Hidan. Fuck, in recent days he'd jacked off more than once to thoughts of Hidan. And he'd seen a new side to him; seen him playing in a band; just being a cool guy; not holding up the macho act all the time; not trying to throw him in bins…he'd even been permitted to watch him play the piano –classical piano. He was really quite talented.

Really, Hidan had surprised him.

And the kiss…fuck…if that wasn't the hottest thing he'd ever experienced in his life! A few more minutes and he might've been begging to be fucked up against the wall. If he closed his eyes he could remember the feel of Hidan's hands clutching his ass, pushing him to grind against his leg; rubbing against his clothed erection.

Deidara opened his eyes again as he found himself growing hard just thinking about the memory, and discovered that his doodle had turned into a sketch; quite a sketch indeed.

It was a close-up of he and a suspiciously Hidan-looking man locking lips; their tongues quite obviously down each other's throats; hands tearing at each other's hair. Deidara sighed in aggravation to himself, flicking through his sketchbook and seeing sketches of only him and that Hidan-lookalike in various situations; growing increasingly provocative and lusty. He blushed that he had drawn such things, but couldn't bring himself to throw them out.

"Fuck!" he shouted, unable to think of anything better to say, and unzipped his jeans to get rid of the aching arousal in his pants.

* * *

At that same moment in time, Hidan was lying on his bed with his journal lying underneath his pillow. He was staring up at the ceiling, and didn't even notice when Suigetsu snuck into his room.

Noticing that his brother hadn't made any move to kick his ass, Suigetsu stopped and frowned.

"Hidan?" he raised an eyebrow, and his brother just turned his head to face him with a frown on his face.

"What?"

"You're not going to kick me out?" his brother inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"No?" Hidan seemed confused by the question.

"…You're not going to throw a lamp at me?"

"No, why would I throw a lamp at you?" he inquired.

"…You've thrown six at me," Suigetsu reminded him, "On different occasions. When I pretend to sneak into your room, you throw something at me; swear; and threaten to kill me unless I 'get the fuck out of your fucking room'."

"Oh," Hidan shrugged, and looked up at the ceiling again, lost in thought.

"What's up, bro?" Suigetsu asked, taking this new, placid Hidan's silence as permission to stay; heading over and taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

"Nothing."

"It's something. You didn't even punch me when I messed up your hair this morning."

Hidan gave no response so Suigetsu just sighed, "Is there a reason you're avoiding Deidara?"

"I'm not avoiding Deidara."

"Yes you are," Suigetsu corrected, "You two haven't fought since Saturday morning. Jesus, I haven't even seen the two of you in the same room since Saturday night…"

"Shut up," Hidan snapped, rolling over so that his younger brother couldn't see his face.

"Hit a nerve, did I?" he smirked cheekily, "Come on, Hidan, you can tell me what's going on…"

"I don't know what's going on, all right?" he snapped, "Are you fucking happy? I have _no clue_ what is going on." Suigetsu just stared at his brother's back. Wow. Something was really messing with his head. He just patted him on the shoulder and left him to his own devices.

As soon as Suigetsu was gone, Hidan rolled onto his back again, frowning and trying to figure out what had happened on Saturday night. He'd felt jealous when Deidara was dancing with other people…then they danced together…and fuck…blondie dancing with him had been hot as fuck; the things that were running through his mind as they ground against each other on the dance floor. His imagination had run wild…

And then in the bathroom…what had he been thinking; kissing him like that? It was the first time he'd kissed another man and…and he'd fucking enjoyed it. None of the many women he'd been with had been like that in the slightest! And now what? Had he led Deidara on? Blondie liked him in the first place…was kissing him too far?

His body definitely didn't think so. Fuck, the amount of wet dreams he'd had about the blonde these days was borderline unnatural. He'd never had sex with a man before, but in his dreams, it was fucking amazing; and those moans…they stuck with him throughout the day.

What did he do now? He had to admit he liked spending time with him. Their fights now…they had become well, a little bit fun. Hidan made a frustrated noise and slammed his pillow over his head.

* * *

It was funny how so much could change in such a small amount of time, Itachi mused as he sat in English class; observing as he always did. He was in particular, watching his little brother arguing with Naruto about something. Maybe Naruto didn't notice, but the nickname 'idiot' wasn't thrown about with quite as much condescension as usual; more like…_affection_. Itachi nearly patted himself on the back, but refrained from doing so in public. He couldn't have the world knowing what he was up to. He spied Shikamaru snoring next to him and had to pity the poor man for having to sit through watching Temari fawn over a man that wasn't him.

Never fear; Itachi still had big plans that needed to be realised, and the King of the Fairies would be thanking him soon enough.

* * *

**Oh the relationships... what's going to happen at the Uchiha fundraiser? **

**xx K**


	10. Chapter 10

**My first attempt at a lemon ;) Yaoi warning...**

* * *

It was the night of the Konoha University fundraiser; hosted by the Uchiha family, and the entire mansion was decked out superbly. Anyone who was anyone was there; students and faculty alike; there pretty much to have a good time. Mikoto, loving a good party as much as the next person, had sweet talked her husband into supplying a generous donation to the University if only she was allowed to throw a magnificent impromptu party.

Who was the University to turn down such an offer?

And so Mikoto Uchiha had the party she so desired; the mansion decorated in white, gold and blue, with fancy waiters and delicious food in practically every room. The entire mansion grounds were decorated as well; an orchestra outside with a dance floor and the garden lit with beautiful fairy lights. She was a woman who could really get things done.

In all fairness, she had been planning an event like this for some time, and was using it as a trial run for her sons' eventual engagement parties. She didn't get to dress up nicely often enough, in her opinion.

Itachi was standing at the top of the central staircase, looking down upon the foyer with a small smile on his face. He was wearing a neat black suit with blue shirt and black tie. He spied Sasuke down in the foyer wearing classic black and white, with Sakura in a pretty pink cocktail dress.

" 'What fools these mortals be'," Itachi murmured excitedly to himself. Yes, tonight was going to be a good night.

He spied his mother answering the door and then excitedly wrapping her arms around whoever was there then pointing up to where Itachi was standing. That meant it was probably Kisame at the door.

"Oh, I was so right, you _do_ look dashing in a suit!" Mikoto practically squealed in delight upon stepping back and examining the well-fitting black suit-white-shirt-blue-tie combination that Kisame was sporting. He handed Mikoto the bouquet of white flowers that he was holding and she accepted them with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "You are so sweet! You shouldn't have!"

"…It was lovely of you to throw a party like this," Kisame shrugged as an explanation and shook hands with Fugaku who had decided that Kisame was worth coming over to greet. "Where's Itachi?"

"Hovering up on the landing," Mikoto rolled her eyes and gestured up the stairs, "Sometimes I think he likes to think he's god when he stands up there."

"That'd be Itachi all right," Kisame sighed, shaking his head with a grin and heading up the stairs to find his friend.

"Why are you sweet talking my mother?" Itachi inquired suspiciously. Kisame said nothing, but just grinned toothily at him and gestured for him to join him at the party.

The party was a spectacular event. The women were dressed in beautiful cocktails dresses and the men were looking incredibly handsome in their suits.

Kiba and Hinata were wandering around looking for their friends; Hinata in a modest purple dress, and Kiba in his suit; looking far less scruffy than he usually did. They came across Neji, who was having a drink with Shikamaru.

"…You scrub up well, Inuzuka," Neji remarked in his usual, even, condescending tone; but Kiba took it as probably the nicest thing Neji was ever going to say to him and held out a hand for the Hyuga to shake. Tentatively, and after many glares from Hinata's part, he took the hand proffered and shook.

"There's my Neji!" Temari exclaimed in delight, rushing over and latching onto Neji's arm despite his protests and Shikamaru's frustrated look. Suigetsu arrived, dragging along Hidan, who looked like there wasn't another place in the world he'd less like to be.

"Come on Hidan, quit complaining; I didn't even make you wear a tie," Suigetsu snapped, "Stop being a fucking baby!" Hidan was muttering angrily under his breath as they drew up, "Okay, so it's a Monday night; let's get drunk?"

That was the cue for the group of friends to do exactly that. Mikoto didn't mind. She had gotten her party; what Sasuke, Itachi and their friends did didn't matter as long as they were having a good time.

The night progressed, and Sakura was getting annoyed because she couldn't manage to be alone with Naruto at all! Was the entire world against her? She finished the drink that Itachi had ever so kindly brought for her and laid the glass on the nearest table.

"Sakura?" she turned in annoyance to find that her boyfriend had found her in the foyer. "Can we talk?"

"Sure," she muttered, and didn't move when Sasuke gestured that they should talk somewhere else. "Here is fine. I've got something I need to say too." He sighed, and spied Naruto standing on the stairs. They both took a deep breath.

"…I think we should break up."

They stared at each other; both having said the exact same thing. She looked away sheepishly as Naruto came over, looking worried.

"…What's…what's going on guys?" he inquired, staring at their equally surprised faces.

"…We're breaking up," Sakura informed him.

"What? Why?" Naruto exclaimed; just as surprised as the both of them.

"…I'm in love with someone else," Sakura sighed.

"What?" Sasuke snapped, his attention immediately jumping to her, but her now-ex boyfriend was not where her attention lay.

"…I love someone new now," she murmured, gazing at Naruto, "Someone kind…someone happy…someone who appreciates me…" He stared back at her in confusion, "It's _you_ Naruto. I don't know why I didn't see it sooner!" Naruto took a step backwards.

"Wait, what; Sakura, what are you saying?" he exclaimed in a squawk, "You can't just say that? No, you're not thinking straight!"

"…You can't be in love with Naruto," Sasuke growled, rounding on her.

"What? Because he's your best friend?" she spat, "Don't play that card Sasuke, you stole me from him years ago! Why can't I love him? Because he's everything you're not?"

"You can't love him, because _I_ love him!" Sasuke snarled. That was when the entire room went deathly silent. Kisame joined Itachi on the landing, rolling his eyes.

"Would you like me to bring you some popcorn?" he inquired sarcastically.

"Shh, it's about to get good," Itachi waved a hand at him to hush him, leaning on the banister so he could hear clearer.

"What do you mean you love him?" Sakura snapped.

"Yeah, what do you mean, Sasuke?" Naruto inquired, his voice curious and confused. Sasuke looked in panic from one to the other as he came to the realisation that he had just blurted out what he had amidst a large crowd of people. For once, he decided to just 'fuck it' and go with the flow.

"I mean, I love you, Naruto; _there, I said it_!" he snapped angrily, "You are my best friend in the world and you've always been there for me and I…" He paused and averted his eyes, unable to phrase what it was that he wanted to say. Instead of continuing, he sighed and decided to look his best friend in the face, hoping that Naruto could read what he was feeling as well as he always had been able to.

"_I_ love Naruto!" Sakura growled, jabbing a finger at Sasuke, "And he loves me, don't you get it? That's why he's been jealous of you all these years; because I was with you and not him!" She turned to face Naruto, "Don't listen to Sasuke; he's crazy!"

"…This isn't meant to be happening!" Naruto shouted, taking a step back from them, "This is some kind of trick isn't it? This is some kind of trick of Itachi's, right?" He glared pointedly up the stairs at the elder Uchiha. "You're all in this together, right?"

"It's not a trick!" Sakura protested, "I'm just waking up to what's been beside me all along! Sasuke never loved me like you did, and now I love you the way you deserve!" Sasuke could see that Naruto wasn't paying attention.

"…It might've been some magic potion or something that made this happen to me, but it all makes sense now," Sasuke growled, just loud enough for his friend to hear him, "Naruto…"

"Sakura! You're meant to be madly in love with Sasuke!" Naruto snarled, his hands clenching into fists as he ignored their protests, "And Sasuke, you bastard! You're meant to love her; you're not meant to love me back!"

It was Naruto's turn to clamp a hand over his mouth after realising he'd just spilled something he really shouldn't have.

"…Love you _back_?" Sakura exclaimed, and Sasuke just stood there; his face devoid of emotion as it usually was, "You…you love Sasuke? But…But I thought…you loved me…" Naruto gulped and looked her dead in the eye.

"…It was always Sasuke," he whispered, and immediately turned tail, heading deeper into the Uchiha mansion. Sakura promptly fainted and was thankfully caught by Rock Lee, who had been one of the many onlookers surprised by the strange turn of events.

"Lee, I suggest you take Sakura to one of the guest bedrooms," Itachi suggested in the silence that followed; his voice booming out over the foyer, "…And Sasuke?" Sasuke looked irritably up at his elder brother that had been the entire reason for this ridiculous outburst, "You may want to locate Naruto."

It didn't take long to find him. He was standing out on one of the balconies overlooking the front lawn; admiring the lights. He felt, rather than saw Sasuke come up behind him. Neither spoke for a moment as they stood in the cool evening breeze.

"…I meant it," Naruto muttered after a few minutes had passed, "It was never you I was jealous of. It was Sakura. She got to be with you."

"…You love me?" Sasuke inquired in a low tone.

"Maybe," Naruto murmured, and Sasuke made to take a step closer, but was stopped by a hand against his chest, "Sasuke…I'd kind of like to be alone right now."

* * *

Neji was panting heavily as he slammed the door shut behind him. Gaara burst out laughing as he flopped down on the bed of the guest bedroom they were hiding it.

"I never knew Temari could move so fast!" Gaara sighed, letting out a deep breath and loosening his tie. Neji nodded, panting in agreement and doubling over to see if that helped him regain his breath any better, "God…how have you managed to deal with her for so long?"

"How did _Shikamaru _manage to deal with her?" Neji reminded him, "I have a newfound respect for him." The two grinned awkwardly in agreement and for a moment, the only sound to be heard from either of them was breathless panting.

"Hey Hyuga?" Gaara inquired suddenly, "Mind if I ask you something?" Neji raised an eyebrow but didn't complain, "…Are you a virgin?"

"No," Neji scoffed, "What gave you that impression?"

"…The complete inability to interact with females," Gaara deadpanned.

"You don't interact with females," Neji pointed out.

"I'm gay," he responded easily. He hadn't really meant to say it, but it had just come out. Somehow. And Neji just looked at him with a little bit of surprise, but not disgust; which was what Gaara had been expecting. Actually, he looked a little nervous, as he edged a bit closer.

"What…what's it…what's it like?" he managed to stammer out without looking the redhead in the eye. Gaara was clever, and he never missed an opportunity when one presented itself.

All of a sudden, the door burst open, and who but Temari came running in; drunk and after Neji.

"Run!" Neji yelled, and the two managed to sidestep the wobbling blonde and dart out of the room before she even had time to react. They sprinted along the hallways and turned so many corners they thought they were lost, until they found another guest room that was slightly ajar. Taking the opportunity, they dove inside, slamming the door shut behind them.

As soon as the door had click shut, Gaara grabbed Neji by the tie and reeled him in with it, capturing his lips in a heated kiss. Neji, caught completely off guard, but not in a bad way, planted his hands on the door either side of Gaara's head, and immediately kissed back.

Their next few movements were a jumble of fumbles, trips and sloppy kisses as they headed towards the bed, Neji landing sprawled over Gaara; their hips colliding with each other deliciously.

Gaara moaned loudly as Neji's tongue darted into his mouth and quickly asserted his dominance despite being new to the whole kissing-a-guy thing. The brunette righted himself so that his body was hovering over the redhead's; enabling him a better angle with which to kiss him.

"Oh god, Neji…" he moaned as they broke away from their kiss and Neji sucked hard at his racing pulse.

The door burst open again and they broke apart to stare at the intruder.

Temari stood there and stared. There, lying on the bed with tousled hair and flushed faces, were none other than _her_ Neji and her baby brother! Neji, _on top of_ her baby brother! Gaara looked his sister directly in the eye, and then, very deliberately, slid his hand into Neji's pants, gripping firmly on his cock.

"Go find Shikamaru," Neji advised, before Gaara pulled him down by the tie once more and began stroking his length. The door finally slammed shut as Temari raced off down the corridors.

* * *

It took Shikamaru two hours to get Temari calm enough to go to sleep. She was distraught. Her beautiful Neji and her little brother –Shikamaru could perhaps sympathise with how traumatic that must've been to walk in on. Itachi had made some tea with a touch of Love in Idleness, and Temari had sipped at it and poured out her tears and her woes. Finally, after much crying and comforting, she had fallen asleep in the arms of the man that truly loved her. He was _not_ sleeping or leaving her side until she had woken to his face and loved him again.

* * *

Suigetsu groaned as he finally managed to push Deidara and Hidan into Deidara's dorm room. How _he_ had managed to get stuck with the task of getting their two drunk asses to home was beyond him! There was no way he was going to walk Hidan all the way back to his building; not that Hidan had really expressed any desire to go home.

Well, Hidan hadn't expressed anything; because he hadn't really spoken since they started drinking, and now Suigetsu was shoving him and Deidara into the same room and hoping they would talk out their differences.

…Or something to the same effect. Suigetsu chuckled to himself as he headed off down the hallway to Juugo's room to crash for the night.

Deidara was fuming.

How the _fuck_ did he end up with Hidan in his room? Stupid Suigetsu!

"You can leave," Deidara snapped crossly, folding his arms impatiently.

"…What is your _problem_?" Hidan growled angrily, rounding on him and startling the blonde, forcing him to step back a pace.

"_My_ problem? You've been avoiding me, un!" Deidara snapped irritably, taking off his jacket.

"…I'm not fucking…What are you doing?"

"I live here, un," Deidara growled crossly, beginning to unbutton his shirt as well.

"I wouldn't do that…" Hidan warned in a low tone, beginning to lick his lips as he spied Deidara's bare chest and feeling his body begin to warm.

"Or what?" the blonde snapped back, "Hidan, why don't you just get the fuck –" His sentence was rapidly cut off as Hidan strode forward and slammed his lips down up his.

All the breath was effectively stolen from Deidara's lungs as Hidan wrapped his arms around the smaller man and pulled him in close, deepening the kiss as he did so. Deidara didn't even hesitate to open his mouth as he felt a tongue trail against his lips. Already, he moaned, hands running down Hidan's chest and settling at his belt.

Kissing Hidan was exhilarating. His lips were forceful and hungry and made him feel hot and excited. He began unbuttoning his shirt in anticipation.

Hidan wasn't even fully aware of anything except Deidara's tongue against his until their shirts fell to the floor. Even then, all he did was move his lips to the blonde's neck and kiss him viciously, biting and sucking in trails up his neck that had him a quivering, moaning wreck.

"Ohh…Hidan…" Deidara moaned, feeling Hidan's hands sliding harshly down his back to rest firmly on his ass. He felt himself being lifted forward and up as the bigger man ground their hips together like back on the dance floor. He moaned once more as Hidan's knee ground up against his semi-hard cock. He lifted his lidded eyes level to Hidan's ear, "I want you so bad…" he whispered, running a hand down Hidan's chest and into his pants, "…Fuck me…" He immediately found what he was searching for and gave a few swift strokes. "Hard."

Within moments, they were on the bed in their boxers, Hidan hovering over Deidara; almost looking…_nervous_. To hide this from the blonde, he settled with kissing a harsh trail down his chest, tonguing a nipple until it hardened and earned a breathy gasp from him. Deidara managed to sneakily yank Hidan's boxers down and off so that his arch enemy was on his bed with him, completely naked.

"Jesus Christ," Deidara remarked, unable to look away from Hidan's enormous, hard, dripping cock. He almost came just from the sight of it, "And I always thought you were overcompensating…" He wrapped a hand around the shaft and gave a few hard pumps, letting Hidan thrust into his hand with a grunt.

"Lube…drawer…" Deidara growled out as he removed his own boxers; his own leaking cock springing free.

He turned around and almost laughed when he saw Hidan looking slightly confused. Not believing that he was about to do this, Deidara got onto his knees, lubed up his fingers and without missing a beat, pushed two of them deep inside himself.

Hidan found his mouth watering and his cock twitching at the sight of Deidara pushing his own fingers up into his ass and pumping in and out hard; alternating this with a scissoring motion every so often to stretch himself. Hidan spread some lube on his cock and found himself jerking himself off in time to the thrusts of Deidara fingering himself, watching in horny fascination.

The blonde was surprised when he felt his own fingers removed from his ass, and whimpered at the loss, before he felt a large hand grip his ass, and a foreign digit pushed inside him. He gasped, his muscles clenching around the intrusion, but Hidan didn't wait before adding another finger and pushing. Hard.

"Nhhnnn…" Deidara groaned; Hidan's fingers were so much bigger than his own…and god, that cock…Suddenly, by chance, Hidan curled his fingers and Deidara nearly collapsed forwards, seeing stars, "There!" he growled ferally, "Whatever you do…_aim for there_!"

Hidan obliged, inserting a third finger and hitting Deidara's prostate again almost immediately. He watched in fascination as the ring of muscles greedily took up his fingers and Deidara pushed his ass back, trying to get more inside him.

Deidara could feel himself near to orgasm when Hidan removed his fingers. Irritated, he almost spun to face him, but found his face pushed down into the pillows.

"…You want this, blondie?" Hidan hissed in his ear, the head of his cock pressing against Deidara's entrance. Just the feel of that against his ring of muscles made Deidara clutch at his own cock and stroke it hard a few times. His breathing was ragged and lusty; he wanted the ginormous cock deep inside him.

"Yes! YES!" Deidara shouted, trying to push back to impale himself on the cock, but Hidan pulled back slightly as well. He badly wanted release! "Just _fuck me Hidan_!" The platinum-haired man smirked, beginning to push in slowly.

Tears were blinked away by Deidara as he breathed heavily, holding onto the headboard for support as he had an unimaginable length pushed inside of him. He'd never expected it to be quite so painful!

Then again, he'd never expected his first time to be with a man with such an impressively sizeable cock.

"God, you're so big…" Deidara moaned, rolling his hips experimentally once Hidan had stopped moving. He'd never felt so _filled_ before.

"…Want to know something?" Hidan inquired, biting down on his shoulder, "…I'm only half in…" And on that note, he thrust in completely and Deidara couldn't stop a cry from escaping his lips.

"What's wrong, Dei?" Hidan inquired, though he was panting and trying so hard not to pound into the blonde too soon. Fuck, he was clenched so tight around him; no chick could ever compare to this, "…Thought you wanted it hard…" Taking the taunt, Deidara slammed his hips backwards to get Hidan moving again.

"Are you fucking me or are you not?" he snapped, and that was the cue for Hidan to snap his hips forwards again several times in quick succession; succeeding in pounding against Deidara's prostate every time, sending the blonde into fits of pleasure.

He didn't know why he hadn't expected Hidan to be phenomenal in bed; he'd slept with enough women; why wouldn't he be good with a man? Deidara had been imagining this for what felt like so long, but it was so much better than his fantasies had been.

"Faster," he managed to pant out, to which Hidan obliged, grabbing hold of his hips with painful force and slamming them back to meet his; forcing him even deeper into Deidara and causing the moans to intensify. He felt his head being pushed down and his hips being angled upwards, and again, Hidan pushed even deeper, grazing Deidara's prostate and receiving a loud moan.

His hair was falling out of its normal ponytail, splaying all over his face, but he didn't care. He was moaning like a wanton whore and begging for more, and then all of a sudden he was cumming harder than he ever had in his life and shouting Hidan's name; followed moments after by a sharp thrust from Hidan and the feeling of something warm coating his insides.

Hidan paused for a long moment, panting and sweating heavily, slowly pulling out of Deidara, who just collapsed on his side, feeling something leaking from his ass. He rolled over to see Hidan sitting back on his haunches, panting with a smug look.

"Well?" he raised an eyebrow.

"…Again," Deidara demanded.

* * *

**;)  
Things are finally looking up! Things are coming together! Next chapter is the last; let's see how everyone handles these... interesting...developments...  
xx K**


	11. Chapter 11

**Final chapter. Since reading this again, I re-discovered that I loved it. I hope you guys did too! Love the dear mischievous Itachi and the 'King of the fairies'; away-with-the-fairies Shikamaru. xD Review? Even if not; read on and enjoy.**

* * *

Neji woke up in an unfamiliar bed, half-naked and his hair a complete wreck. He was about to freak out, when he discovered that there was a hot, also partially naked redhead curled up against his side, an arm possessively slung across his chest. As his eyes adjusted to the unfamiliar lighting, he realised that he was in Gaara's bed with him. Despite not remembering their trip from the Uchiha mansion, he was content, and wrapped an arm around Gaara, instantly falling back to sleep.

* * *

The first thing Sakura decided when she woke up was that she was very stupid, and quite hung over. Her eyes fluttered open and winced in the sunlight, spying a familiar face leaning down over her in concern.

"Sakura!" You're awake!" Lee exclaimed, and though his voice was a little too loud for the time of day, Sakura didn't find it troubling. She just smiled weakly as he beamed down at her with his eyes filled with joy over seeing that she was okay. Had he always radiated such happiness?

"Morning…Lee…" she managed to murmur out, and he looked overjoyed that she had spoken to him directly. As she blinked a few times, she found herself gazing up at him; intrigued.

Had Lee always been so cute?

* * *

Shikamaru was just about nodding off when Temari began to stir. Instantly, he was at her side.

"Temari?" he inquired quickly, bending down beside her as she groaned, rubbing her forehead. She looked up at him and blinked, as if confused.

"Shika?" she asked.

"How do you feel?" he queried.

"…Hung over," she muttered, "I feel like I've had the strangest dream…" Shikamaru suddenly tipped her chin up to his face and kissed her softly on the lips, "…What…what was that for?"

"Please don't ever leave me again," he whispered quietly, "I'm lost without you Temari."

"I should never have left you," she murmured, kissing him on the cheek beside his lips. "…Shika…I don't know what came over me…I…I should never have wanted Neji…"

"Forget it," Shikamaru assured her, "Forget it all. Just stay with me. I love you so much."

"…I'll always love you," Temari whispered, wrapping her arms around him, "Even when you forget our anniversaries and my birthday."

"I promise things will be different," Shikamaru promised, "I'll do better. You're worth it." She just smiled at him and lay down in his arms; where she knew she belonged. "Temari, we have class soon…"

"Now you decide to care about class?" Temari snorted, forcing him to lie down, "…Konoha doesn't need the King of the Fairies right now; his queen does."

* * *

Unlike his friends, Deidara didn't have the luxury of waking up slowly and growing accustomed to the situation he was in. He woke up suddenly and rather abruptly, his eyes snapping open to the sound of soft snoring.

The first thing he saw was his own arm curled across a sculpted abdomen. As he stared around in what might've been horror, he found that his head was rested rather comfortably on a strong chest, and that his hair was thoroughly tangled. Following the chest up to a head, he realised that the body he had been so comfortably snuggling against was none other than Hidan; and that they were both completely naked, one of Deidara's legs slung quite casually over one of Hidan's; his cock rubbing against a powerful thigh.

"Oh god, un!" Deidara yelped, and immediately made to leap out of bed. He got caught in the sheets and went plummeting to the floor, unimaginable pain shooting up his spine from his ass as it connected with the ground. Memories flashed through his mind of the night before as he stared at a dent in the door.

He remembered being pushed up against that door, his legs wrapped around Hidan's waist as he was raised and impaled upon his huge cock time and time again. He remembered throwing his head back and gripping Hidan's slick shoulders, moaning like a whore and begging for more, gravity forcing him down onto Hidan even deeper than before. His back had been slammed against the door with so much force that he was surprised it hadn't broken; Hidan had been relentless.

Then there was the memory of lying on his bed; Hidan's hot, sweating body above him, their hips connected and then disconnected time and time again with every sharp, pleasure-inducing thrust; Deidara's hard cock bouncing between them as Hidan kissed him deeply.

And then there was the image of Hidan beneath him as he rose and fell; forcing that enormous cock deep inside his abused hole. Hidan was thrusting upwards sharply and pushing Deidara's hips down to get as deep into his as he could. Deidara could've ridden that cock all night and not have gotten sick of how it made him feel; stretching him; hitting his prostate with nearly every thrust. He knew his expression was that of complete ecstasy, and when he and Hidan came together, he had become even more turned on by the feeling of warm cum leaking from his ass.

Deidara tried to move again, but found that anything other than remaining completely stationary sent a sharp pain through his body. He groaned in a low tone and managed to get back on the bed, lying on his side. His shuffling had apparently woken Hidan.

"Morning," he greeted in a husky voice that now sent a shiver down Deidara's spine, and then he did something that the blonde was not expecting; he leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. Deidara was too stunned to do anything except stare at him as Hidan threw off the sheets; completely ignoring the fact that he was stark naked until Deidara averted his eyes; blushing.

"Nothing you haven't fucking seen before, blondie," Hidan remarked with a small grin as he pulled on his pants, Deidara trying to cover up a little with the sheets and feeling something caked to what felt like the majority of his body. His face must've given away his disgust because Hidan just laughed again.

"…Maybe a shower before class?" he smirked, halfway through pulling on his shirt when, by impulse, he planted a kiss directly on Deidara's lips. He didn't pull away until Hidan finished half buttoning his shirt and headed to the door, smirking at the dent. Deidara didn't want to point out that Hidan couldn't have looked more like he'd just had sex if he tried. His hair was a mess, his buttons weren't done up correctly, and his pants were still partially undone. That; and he was carrying his shoes and smelled very strongly of sweat and sex.

The room stank of sex.

Deidara didn't even know what to say before the door slammed shut behind him and Hidan was gone. He gingerly took off the sheet and winced at the amount of dried cum that was caked to his legs and chest, grabbing a nearby towel and limping as best he could to the door. Every step was pure agony, but he couldn't help feeling that _fuck had it been worth it_.

He smiled to himself a little as he limped; remembering fondly the tender kiss Hidan had just placed on his cheeks and then his lips. That was when he caught sight of himself in the mirror and realised that the elder man had probably just been looking for a quick fuck.

"HIDAN!" he snarled in a shriek.

* * *

There was snickering in the boy's locker room, and Deidara was trying very hard to ignore it as he stalked in stiffly, trying to hide the limp that had hounded him all day. He obviously wasn't doing a very good job of it, because everyone in the room was staring; including all his friends.

Kiba was leaning against a locker trying very hard not to burst out laughing as he spied Deidara limping in with an incredibly pronounced limp; as though someone had jammed a rod up his ass.

Not only that, but there were about six poorly hidden hickeys clearly visible; riddling the blonde's neck and collarbone and Deidara looked clearly rather irritated. The other guys had stopped what they were doing and were watching him as he acted as though he didn't look like he had a skin disease. He managed to act completely natural as he pulled off his shirt…

And then everyone burst out laughing.

There were huge bruises in the shape of fingers on both the front and back aspects of Deidara's hips; obviously from where he had been brutally gripped; and his chest, and some of his back was coated in at least twenty hickeys. Deidara tried to maintain his dignity as he struggled with his shorts, glad that they couldn't see quite how far down the hickeys extended.

Hidan had arrived for basketball practice whilst the blonde was struggling with his clothes and trying to block out the laughter. He smirked when Deidara gave him a livid glare.

"…Fuck…who fucked _you_ last night?" Kiba remarked, a snigger escaping against his will. Hidan raised an eyebrow; about to take claim for it, when Deidara just snapped, "Nobody in particular."

Ouch.

Pride wounded, Hidan flung down his bag aggressively and began getting changed in fuming silence. Kisame and Neji merely exchanged very knowing glances and Kisame barely managed to contain a snort, which Hidan unfortunately heard.

"You got a problem, shark boy?" he snarled instantly.

"…Not at all," Kisame assured him with a smug grin, "…I…nothing, Hidan…" He, Neji, Kiba, Shikamaru and Sasuke all just immediately turned away and headed out to their basketball practice.

* * *

Since it was such a nice day, Hinata had decided to go watch her cousin and boyfriend at practice; managing to pull Sakura and Temari along with her. Gaara, Naruto and Suigetsu were already sitting on the bleachers by the outside court as the basketball, volleyball and track teams began running their laps.

"What are you guys doing here?" Sakura inquired curiously. Gaara said nothing but flushed slightly.

"…Gaara wanted to come watch Neji but needed moral support so he didn't seem like a creep," Naruto replied brightly, to which he received an elbow to the gut, "Hey, come on man, it's true."

"I don't see what the big deal is," Suigetsu rolled his eyes, "I mean he stayed at your place last night…I think you're allowed to come watch him practice." The girls 'oohed' and Gaara gave them all death stares. Neji jogged past and flicked Gaara a small grin; to which they all proceeded to mock him for.

Lee was on the track team, and waved brightly to Sakura; to which she returned it with just as much enthusiasm.

"So you and Shikamaru are back together?" Sakura inquired, to deflect questions about why she was being so nice to Lee. Temari nodded shortly, "Hooray! The power couple of Konoha are back!"

"Stop saying that…" Temari rolled her eyes and sighed, spying Itachi coming over to join them, "Afternoon Itachi!"

"Have you _seen_ Deidara?" Suigetsu chortled as the Uchiha joined them, "Fuck, it's _hilarious_!"

"Oh god, the amount of hickeys he has…" Sakura gasped. Suddenly, their discussion was abruptly halted by the fact that a small pile up had occurred nearby, with people rushing over to break up what appeared to be a fight. They all leapt up and headed over, when they recognised the familiar blonde and platinum haired heads that usually meant trouble.

As they arrived on the scene, it became apparent that Kisame was holding back Hidan, and Kiba was attempting to help a very sore, very stiff Deidara gingerly to his feet.

"What the fuck was that for, un?" Deidara snapped, pushing away Kiba's help and wrenching himself to his feet, despite the pain; for dignity's sake.

"Tell them," Hidan demanded, pushing Kisame aside, "Stop saying it was no one; fucking _tell them_." Deidara glowered, not wanting to cause a scene in front of everyone. He didn't want to out Hidan, and he sure as hell didn't want to seem as though their activities the night before meant more to him than what they probably meant to Hidan.

"I thought you'd rather keep it your shameful secret!" he snarled, gesturing at his chest, "I didn't ask for this, Hidan!"

"Well you were fucking begging for it last night," Hidan growled in a low tone and there was a sharp intake of breath, "It was all, 'fuck me harder, Hidan', 'fuck me again!' And now what; you're trying to act like nothing happened; seems like _you're_ the one who wants to have a shameful secret!?" Someone appeared to have fainted. Itachi was positively gleeful; but kept his composure. "Fuck, I only slept with you because I thought you liked me and I'd do you a favour…"

"You'd do _me_ a favour, un?" Deidara snorted angrily, "Are you kidding me? You're the one who was getting the favour…I felt sorry for you!"

"Hold the goddamn phone, blondie," Hidan growled menacingly, "You're the one that likes me; _fuck_, I heard fucking Sasuke and Kisame and the basketball guys talking about it in the locker room!"

"I heard from Suigetsu and Naruto that _you_ liked _me_!" Deidara snapped, and the two of them looked from each other to their friends and then back again once they realised that their friends were looking far too angelic to be innocent.

"…What's fucking going on?" Hidan demanded to know.

"We've been tricked, un," Deidara growled accusingly looking at the group around them, "You _don't_ like me?" Hidan made a scoffing noise.

"No, I hate you," he snapped, but Suigetsu heard the lie in his brother's voice.

"Well, I hate you too, un," Deidara sniffed back, folding his arms, "…So I fucking let you take my ass virginity for nothing, un…" Hidan raised an eyebrow; a little surprised at this information.

"So we hate each other and our stupid friends tried to get us to sleep together?" he glowered, looking for someone else to unleash his rage upon.

"Exactly, un," Deidara growled.

" –_Succeeded_ in getting you to sleep together, it appears," Itachi suddenly spoke up, moving towards the front of the group and ignoring Hidan's deathly glares and mutinous mutterings. _Of course it was Itachi_. "…No need to look at me like that, Hidan…I think you might be interested in seeing something…"

Deidara's eyes widened. Was that…was that his sketchbook Itachi was holding.

"You didn't…" he breathed in disbelief.

"I suggest you lock your door, Deidara," Itachi advised, handing the book to Hidan, "Neji, Kiba, restrain him if you will…go ahead Hidan, have a look…" Deidara instantly lunged for the book but was caught by his two should-be-ex-friends and was restrained as Hidan flipped open the book and stared as he turned the pages.

"It's not what you think!" Deidara tried to shout, but felt his face growing increasingly red as Hidan's eyebrows rose in interest.

"…Seems you don't hate me as much as you say you do, blondie," he remarked quietly, and Deidara could've sworn he saw the elder man lick his lips slightly. He wanted to just go and die in a hole right then.

"Exhibit B!" Suigetsu suddenly proclaimed, leaping forwards to stand beside Itachi, whipping out a brown, leather-bound book. "Kisame, go!" Kisame instantly wrapped his arms around Hidan's chest to restrain him, the sketchbook falling to the ground; open on one of Deidara's sketches of Hidan pressing him against a wall.

"I'm going to fucking _kill_ you, Suigetsu!" Hidan snarled, "Kisame, you're fucking next!"

"Hidan's journal," Suigetsu smirked, knowing that Kisame was strong enough to hold back his brother. He flicked open to one of the more recent pages and cleared his throat.

" 'I don't know what's wrong with me'," he read aloud, " 'I can't stop fucking thinking about him' –"

"…Hidan even swears when he writes?" Shikamaru remarked, and was quickly hushed.

" 'It can't be normal to think about someone this much. Whenever I'm around him I just want to…" Suigetsu was instantly cut off as Deidara snapped, "Let me see that!" and Hidan glared mutinously at his brother. Deidara read for a few moments, his face blushing in embarrassment as he read what Hidan had written that he wanted to do. After a tense silence, he finally looked at Hidan.

"You like me, un," he smirked, folding his arms smugly.

"You wipe that fucking smirk off your face or I'll fucking do it for you," Hidan snarled.

"I want to hear you say it," Deidara grinned.

"This is a fucking dangerous game you're playing, blondie…"

"You want to fuck me again," he began slyly.

"Say another word; it'll be your last!"

"You fucked me last night and enjoyed it."

"…Don't you fucking dare…"

"I wasn't the only one moaning…"

"_DEIDARA, I'M WARNING YOU_!"

"…Remember how you said I was the best sex you've ever had…"

"I'LL KILL YOU ALL!"

"Once wasn't enough…it took five…"

"Fine! I like you! I like you, Deidara!" Hidan yelled out; and then broke free from Kisame, wrapping Deidara in his arms and kissing him hard. Anything to stop more words from coming from that irritating mouth! It didn't take more than a few seconds for Deidara to relax and hungrily kiss him back. There was a chorus of wolf whistles, to which Hidan broke free from the kiss and aggressively announced,

"To whoever just did that; quit it before I fucking break your fucking necks."

"…I don't even know why I like you," Deidara commented flatly, rolling his eyes at Hidan's not necessarily idle threat, "But I do…" He dragged Hidan back in for another kiss.

"Hold on!" Sasuke growled, and everyone stared at him as he stepped forward to confront Itachi, "Really? That really worked? You tricked them into liking each other?" Hidan and Deidara's expressions soured, but listened as they broke apart, Hidan's hand resting firmly on the blonde's backside.

"I suppose I did," Itachi remarked with a superior smirk.

"And this has nothing to do with that 'Love in Idleness' magic drink that you have to make people fall in love?" Sasuke inquired darkly. Itachi feigned surprise, "You know the one I mean; the one you spiked my drink with that made Sakura and I fall in love with Naruto; and I'm guessing the one that made Temari fall in love with Neji?"

"You did what?" Temari growled.

"…What's not to say Temari didn't just fall in love with me?" Neji remarked, offended.

"Oh please, you can smell the gay on you a mile away," Sasuke rolled his eyes. Again, Neji looked offended, "And I saw you give something to Gaara…" Gaara's eyes widened and he looked over at Neji. Could…could that have been that drink he had at the bar that night? Itachi's smile widened.

"…Sorry to break the news to you, little brother," he replied, "…I put nothing in your drink. And Neji; Gaara; no need to look at each other like that; I did nothing to Gaara's drink."

"But I heard –"

"…If you thought you were going to fall in love with Naruto, you finally accepted that you did," Itachi clapped his hands together, "Sorry to inform you Naruto, but my baby brother genuinely _does_ love you. It just took tricking him into thinking he'd drank a magic potion to make him admit it." Naruto sidled over to Sasuke with a raised eyebrow.

"Idiot," Sasuke greeted, not looking him in the eye.

"…So you _do_ love me?" Naruto inquired. Sasuke looked away and mumbled something inaudible. "I'm sorry, bastard; what was that?"

"…Maybe."

"That's good enough for me!" he grinned, grabbing Sasuke's hand and entwining their fingers, reaching up to kiss him on the cheek. Sasuke flushed, bit his lip and then just decided 'to hell with it' and turned his head to kiss Naruto deeply on the lips. Again, there were the catcalls and the wolf whistles, which Naruto responded to with his middle finger. When they finally broke apart, Sasuke glared at Itachi as if to say 'are you happy?'

"Sakura, Temari, yes I may have used a magic drink on you," Itachi admitted, "…Twice…But it's all better now, right? Gaara likes Neji; Neji likes Gaara; I suppose with a _little_ bit of my intervention…Hidan and Deidara…Kiba and Hinata…Temari loves Shikamaru again and Sakura's fallen in love with Lee…" Sakura instantly flushed and Lee punched the air in triumph as she looked embarrassed.

"…You set up Gaara and I?" Neji growled, highly affronted.

"I suppose I did," Itachi shrugged thoughtfully.

"Fuck y –" A hand was clamped over Neji's mouth.

"He means 'thank you'," Gaara translated, with a sly, sideways glance at the Hyuga.

"You see, happy endings for everyone," Itachi summarised.

"Not everyone," Sasuke remarked; a dangerous glint in his eye as he and Deidara exchanged glances. There was no way he was letting his brother get out of this scot free. "There's still you, Itachi."

"…What about me…" Suigetsu moped with a scowl, but was quickly silenced by Sasuke's glare. Sasuke and Deidara both looked at Itachi, who immediately felt feelings of dread surfacing as they both announced,

"Itachi's gay."

No glare had ever been colder than the one Itachi threw at his younger brother at that moment as several jaws dropped –but not as many as he expected. Kiba was one of the ones that practically choked on his next breath.

"Itachi's gay?" he exclaimed in disbelief, "What? Sasuke, how do you know?"

"I caught him making out with a guy," Sasuke smirked.

"Dei? How did _you_ know?"

"…I was the guy he was making out with," Deidara replied sheepishly, pressing his cheek to Hidan's chest.

"You made out with _my_ blondie?" Hidan suddenly growled in a low tone, about to advance forward, but was stopped by a large blue hand on his upper arm.

"I wouldn't touch Itachi if I were you," Kisame advised simply, "…I've been waiting for this to become public knowledge for quite some time and I would be rather unimpressed if you killed him before I got the chance to have sex with him."

Itachi's jaw dropped.

What was happening?

"…You want to have sex with me?" he asked flatly, not sure he had heard right.

"Are you fucking kidding me," Kisame rolled his eyes, "For a genius, you sure are stupid." Itachi floundered.

"…And…and what if I don't _want_ to have sex with you?" he snapped, knowing he sounded like a child. There was snickering and a chorus of laughter from the watching crowd.

"...I really don't think that's an option after the amount of time I've spent waiting for you to admit it," Kisame smirked.

"Admit what?"

"Oh please, Itachi," Sasuke snorted, "Everyone knows that you're in love with him…"

"Everyone…" Itachi repeated weakly as he gazed at his friend group and they all nodded and smirked at him; minus a few people like Hidan and Kiba who naturally were surprised by this new titbit of information, "Why did no one bother to mention this to me?"

"It was pretty clear you had an image to uphold," Suigetsu shrugged, "And you were so absorbed in trying to hide how much you wanted Kisame's cock that you didn't even realise that he was in love with you too…"

That was it; Suigetsu was definitely not one of his favourite people right now. Kisame just chuckled and held Itachi against his chest with one arm around the elder Uchiha's stomach to prevent him from maiming Hidan's younger brother.

"Oh come on, Itachi," Sasuke rolled his eyes, "It's been like the two of you have been dating for the past four years."

"…Minus the sex," Kisame grumbled, and Itachi found himself fighting back a blush as Kisame's other hand inconspicuously came to rest against his ass.

"…Says the kid who only realised he was in love with his best friend after being tricked into thinking he'd been dosed with a magic potion," Itachi snapped back, very irritated at how the tables had been turned on him; but not able to find it in himself to pull away from Kisame's chest. Sasuke promptly closed his mouth, but added, "Mother knows," accompanied by a small smirk.

Itachi wanted the ground to swallow him whole. He looked over his shoulder at Kisame, his eyes begging him to say it wasn't true.

"…She's already planning our wedding," he informed him.

"I knew there was a reason you were sucking up," Itachi growled, glaring at him accusingly. Kisame just grinned his toothy grin that Itachi loved so much, and then, without warning, leaned down and pressed his lips against his best friend's. After a few seconds of kissing back, Itachi pulled away, highly affronted.

"You could at least ask me out before just kissing me!" he snapped irritably.

"You tricked _Hidan_ and _Deidara_ into sleeping together; you get no such privileges," Kisame smirked, and spun him around, kissing him again.

This time, Itachi cockily pressed his tongue against Kisame's lips, and then found his own tongue forced back into his mouth as Kisame quickly asserted his dominance and deepened the kiss.

"Well fuck me sideways," Hidan remarked, watching the two of them and finding that maybe, yes, it was turning him on just a bit to see two guys making out; Kisame's hands eagerly groping at Itachi's ass, and Itachi not complaining. He looked down at Deidara, who just looked up at him cheekily and pressed back against his hand. Hidan couldn't resist a grope; not when he saw that Deidara's eyes were clearly expressing that he wanted a bit more than groping.

"It's about fucking time," Sasuke muttered, rolling his eyes at his brother's display.

"Does this mean I'm your boyfriend?" Naruto inquired curiously, shaking the hand that was connected to Sasuke's.

"Idiot."

"That means you have to come to the arcade with me," he grinned mischievously, kissing his cheek. "Because boyfriends do that kind of stuff together." Sasuke glared at him. Kiba smiled down at Hinata as she leaned against him shyly, and kissed her forehead -an action that was not lost on Neji; whose eyes narrowed.

"Let it go," Gaara sighed.

Shikamaru wrapped an arm around his girlfriend; the love of his life, and as he always did, observed his friend group. It had been a crazy last couple of weeks, but in a roundabout way…Itachi had fixed things…and now…what could be better? Itachi broke away from the kiss to look over at the King of the Fairies, who caught his gaze and smiled, both thinking back to their talks in English class.

_Give me your hands, if we be friends, and Itachi shall restore amends*_

* * *

**_And there we have it; the end. _****Thanks for sticking with it; hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you thought!**

**YAY FOR KISAITA! How many of you picked up on Kisame liking Itachi? So cute! xD Hooray! My fics are finally all together! **

*Give me your hands if we be friends, and Robin shall restore amends" -A Midsummer Night's Dream.  
I love Shakespeare. "A Midsummer Night's Dream" and "Much Ado About Nothing" were the plays that this fic stemmed from; if you're familiar with either/both, I hope you picked up on some of the similarities!

**xx K**


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